The Old Tuck Shop

THIRTY-FOUR

After practising a few chords, and basic melodies on the guitar Cal gave me, I took off my hoodie and jeans. I grabbed my backpack off the floor and put on a black and white Beatles t-shirt Ton had given me; things weren't great right now, and I wanted to feel more at home.

I thought about Ton, and Agatha, and the care home, and how selfish I've been to just leave them. Of course, it's been days since I last saw them, even though it feels like weeks. But I can't help but feel guilty. I faced the wall, closed my eyes tightly, and gripped my shirt so hard I felt the sweat starting to appear on my hands. I felt the hot tears fill my eyes, my throat closed up. Finally, my eyes dripped with tears.

As much as I liked to try and hold it in, the pain scorched my throat and came out as a silent scream. The drips of water came down slowly, one after another, with no sign of stopping. The muffled sobs tormented my chest, sending a burning sensation to the rest of my body. The world around me turned into a blur, and so did the sounds, eventually. The last tears raced down my cheeks before everything went black, and I slipped into unconsciousness.

I woke up, my face sticky with tears of last night; I was awakened by a pounding headache at my temples, which faded away as the morning went on. I slipped on my jeans and changed t-shirts. I dried my eyes with my hoodie sleeve, my face was still blotchy, and red like corned beef. I ruffled my hair before staring at myself in the mirror. The last time I had cried this much was when I first started living in a care home, and nights would consist of crying myself to sleep wondering why my Mother would leave me, why anyone would want me.

My eyes were puffy, bloodshot, and heavy as if I hadn't slept in a week. My cheeks were red-raw and hot to the touch. My mouth was redder than usual; I had bitten down on my lip so hard, to muffle the cries that it was split down the middle. I picked the scab off of my lip, which caused blood to ooze out, and made my way to the bathroom.

I grabbed a flannel, ran the tap over it, and splashed my face, trying to make myself look the tiniest bit awake. I grabbed the Vaseline from the bathroom cabinet, and covered my lip in it, before going back into my room.

It was only about 9 am, and Poppy said she'd be over here by 10 so I had time to spare. The thought of her made me smile, which then brightened my mood. I made my bed and practised a bit of guitar before Cal came in with a cup of tea.

"Oh... good morning!" he said, placing the tea on my bedside table.

"Oh?" I said, putting down the guitar.

"I just didn't expect you to be up, that's all," he chuckled, sitting down beside me.

"Well, I'm meeting Poppy today... I told you last night?" I said, blowing on the tea, as it was boiling.

"Sorry... my memory is not what it used to be." He tried to chuckle it off.

"Don't worry. Most of the time, I can't even remember what I did yesterday," I joked, and he smiled.

We both sipped our tea. "So... what time are you heading out?" he asked.

"She said she'd be here at 10... but her house is ages away from here so probably a little later than that. Do you need help around the shop? I have time to spare," I asked, now gulping my tea.

"Oh, no it's fine. The shop is closed for today," he answered.

I lowered my eyebrows. "How come?"

"I'm actually going to visit Lewis today. If I leave before you do, can you lock up for me?" he asked.

"Yes, of course, I can," I said.

"Great, great," he replied. "Where are you two planning on going?"

"I think we're going to Cardiff... my memory is not what it used to be," I chuckled, mocking Cal.

"Oi, you!" He ruffled my hair, before leaving the room. I smiled and followed him to the front of the shop.