Crankgameplays Imagines

That Was Then, This Is Now

~ Ethan's POV ~

I smile briefly at the guests, before my focus turns back down to her, and my smile widens "I guess I should start with the day we met, since that's when my life really began, I honestly dont know how I coped without you by my side before that. We met in high school, you were an exchange student from LA, you were so shy and quiet, you barely spoke to anyone. Of course, I had to be sick the day you joined the school, so by the time I came back into school, everyone had already reacted and gotten used to your presence, so when I saw you in the halls for the first time and froze in shock, I was the latest reaction. Though, obviously, other people's reactions to you were nothing compared to mine, because as soon as I saw you...I've been struggling for years to figure out how best to describe that feeling, it was like suddenly realising that there had been something missing my entire life, and the second I saw you, I was complete. Back then, I was too young to understand what those feelings meant, but that was then, this is now." I laugh slightly and shake my head down at her "If I'd had any idea about how quickly I would've fallen in love with you, and how many amazing memories we were yet to make, it wouldnt have taken me a month to pluck up the courage to talk to you. But, I was just a kid with a crush, and I guess now we'll never know what could've happened if I'd spoken to you sooner. We started dating a few months after that, my first ever girlfriend, and damn was I lucky to have you as my first. In the year that followed, we made countless memories together, like the time we forced ourselves to stay up and watch all of the Star Wars movies back to back on a school night, and all the gymnastics events you supported me at, and, who can forget watching Drake and Josh until the early hours of the morning?" I laugh at the memories, and continue "But after a year of being two kids in love, you had to go back to LA. Both of us were heartbroken, but we knew we'd make it through and come out stronger than ever. Just thinking about that goodbye at the airport brings tears to my eyes, I had never felt pain like that. The distance was a strain on our relationship, and although we werent aware of how things would change, we knew it would be worth it. Back then, we cherished hearing each other's voices even through our video calls, but we dont have to do that anymore. That was then, this is now." Tears prick my eyes as I continue to smile down at her "It became my dream to move to LA, and when youtube consumed my life, that only gave me further reason and ambition to move there. We hit some rough patches, of course, but it was nothing we couldnt handle. You always supported my youtube channel, you gave me so much confidence in the videos I created, I can remember when you'd send me lengthy reviews of every video I uploaded, listing everything that made you laugh. It was the sweetest thing ever, which makes sense, because that's exactly what you've always been. The longer we spent apart, the more desperate we became to see each other again, and I lived on the smallest amount of money I could, until I could afford to move out to LA. When that day came, you and I cried to each other over the phone with happiness, because we knew that we finally wouldnt have to be apart for a long period of time ever again. I can remember stepping off the plane, and seconds later feeling the impact of you colliding with me, before I'd even had the chance to see your face, but when I did see your face...my god, I had never seen someone so beautiful. The next year passed in a blissful blur, we were so in love and so happy, nothing could phase us anymore. By that point, we'd been dating for six years, and those had been the best six years of our lives. On our sixth anniversary, I proposed to you at Disney World, and words cant describe the joy I felt when you said yes. I never thought I would ever feel anything so strong in all my life ever again, but that was then, this is now." I glance at the guests again, to see all of them in tears, before I look back down at my girl "Our wedding day was the best day of my life. I already thought you were the most beautiful girl in existence, but that day...I swear, you were an angel, and from that moment onwards that's how you always appeared to me, even when you had a face without makeup and you were sat on our bed eating pizza in your pyjama's, you were an angel, always. Every time I hear our song, I cant help but be consumed by the memory of you smiling up at me as we danced. Our honeymoon was delayed because I fell ill from a severe allergic reaction, and I cant help but feel like maybe if I hadnt, things would've been different." Tears start streaming from my eyes "It was on the last day of our honeymoon, that was when everything changed. We were heading back to the hotel, just across the street, but a drunk driver swerved out into the road, and you...y-you jumped forward, pushed me across the road to safety, but it meant that..." I shake my head, unable to bring myself to say it "I know you'd never want me to apologise because you dont regret what you did, but I am so, so sorry. Just a month ago, we were walking hand in hand, smiling and laughing, oblivious to the rest of the world, and so in love, but that was then, and this...this is now." I smile sorrowfully down at her one more time, before I place my hand on her casket and stumble back to my seat in the church, tears blurring my vision, and the sounds of the guests sobs filling my ears.
As I fall into my seat, I stare up at the casket that my wonderful wife lies lifelessly inside, the words spoken by the priest sound so distant to me, I can barely hear him. As I watch her with longing eyes and an agonising pain in my chest, a single thought enters my head, the same one that has been swirling around my mind since the day I lost her.

Im sorry I couldnt save you, baby.