Crankgameplays Imagines

Promises

~ Your POV ~

This is getting more unbearable with every minute that passes. You're past the point of hysteria, you've drifted into a state of numb shock, and you dont know how to free yourself from it. Not only do you feel trapped inside your home, but inside your own body, you despise every part of yourself so much, your body resents itself, it feels like every aspect of your being is repelling against you, trying to break through your skin and escape, but everything is trapped inside, and you have to live with it.

Your mind drifts to him, and suddenly you're on his youtube channel, with no recollection of how you get there. That's how everyday of the last week has passed: you realise you're doing things, but have no idea how you got from doing one thing to another. Every recent video of his, you've already watched, but it doesnt matter. You click on a video from a couple of weeks ago, but the second you hear his voice, see his smile, and start falling into those hazel eyes, you feel like you're going to be sick. Closing your laptop, you stand up and speed walk into the kitchen, knowing there's only one other solution to this. Solution, you shouldnt call it that, it wont fix anything, but it'll numb you from this pain for a little while at least. As soon as you reach the kitchen, you're searching every cupboard for one bottle that you know he wont have thrown out because he didnt see it, and eventually, you find it. Your eyes land on the bottle of red wine, and a lump rises in your throat.

When you and Ethan first started dating, he didnt notice, and didnt know about it. You'd go on dates to restaurants and have a glass of wine or two, but he thought nothing of it. Everyday when you got home from work, whatever alcohol that was in your house would be broken into, and on particularly hard days you'd drink until you passed out, then you'd have to apologise to Ethan the next morning for not replying to a text. You were just exhausted, you'd type out time and time again, and he simply thought that work tired you out. It was when you moved in together that he realised. In front of him, you tried to only have a glass of wine a night, but when he stayed up recording videos until the early hours of the morning, he'd often come out of his recording room to find you passed out on the couch with an empty glass still in your hand. Needless to say, it didnt take him long to figure out that you had a problem. He very carefully confronted you about it, and you broke down as soon as he started speaking. Nobody had ever known about your alcohol problem, he was the only person to spend enough time with you to notice. You explained to him that you werent trying to drink yourself to death, which is what he feared. In between sobs, you told him that drinking, even just a small amount, would numb your pain, it'd push any dark thoughts away. For years, alcohol had been your only friend. A poisonous, dangerous friend at that, but nonetheless, a friend. You made Ethan promise that he wouldnt tell anyone else about your problem, and he said he wouldnt, as long as you promised to stop drinking.

Once he knew your motives behind your addiction, Ethan did something potentially dangerous not only to you, but to his career. He began spending less time making videos, and more time with you, in order to replace your dependancy on alcohol, with his own presence. Any time you felt low, felt nothing at all, or felt actually alright, Ethan was there. Even if he didnt speak specific words of comfort, his presence was enough. Relying on someone else to replace your addiction is a risky, and very stupid, thing to do, especially if it's someone you're in a relationship with, because what are you supposed to do if you and that person break up? You questioned Ethan on that, and he reassured you, by promising you that he wasnt going anywhere.

To celebrate you reaching six months of sobriety, Ethan took you out to the same restaurant where you had your first date. When the waiter came over to take your orders, and you asked for "Just a glass of water, please" Ethan couldnt stop himself from grinning at you with pride. That night, at the end of your meal, Ethan got down on one knee and proposed to you. In that moment, he told you that there was nobody else he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, nobody else he could be more proud of, and nobody he could ever love more, than you. With tears of joy streaming down your cheeks, you nodded, and the whole restaurant erupted in cheers and applause as Ethan slid the ring onto your finger, before standing up and wrapping his arms around your waist. He lifted you into the air and spun you around like he was the happiest man alive, which is exactly what he said he was.