Crankgameplays Imagines

Not Just A Fan

~ Your POV ~

Reluctantly, you wave at the camera.
"Hey guys..." You sigh and run a hand through your hair "I cannot fucking believe Im doing this, but here goes nothing."
You take a deep breath, throw your head back, and release a battle cry "ETHAN!"
After a few hurried footsteps, Ethan pops his head around your recording room door "ARE YOU DYING!?!"
You laugh slightly "Nope, but Im about to be! Sit down please." You pat the space beside you on the couch.
Ethan raises an eyebrow at you, clearly confused, but sits down beside you nonetheless.
You clear your throat and try your best to remain optimistic as you smile at the camera "Alright guys, today I've got a special video planned, and Ethan has absolutely no idea what's going on!"
Ethan smiles nervously "Should I be worried?"
You turn to him and nod, deadly seriously "Yes. Very. This could potentially make you break up with me."
He scoffs "Never."
You smile at him "Do you remember my old tumblr account?"
Ethan raises an eyebrow "Uh, a little. I mean, I remember when you posted the pictures from when we met, and I followed your tumblr after that, but I havent actually scrolled through your account."
You roll your eyes playfully "Well yeah, obviously, if you had scrolled through my account, we wouldnt be dating."
Ethan frowns "What?"
You shake your head "Dont worry. Anyway, today you and I are going to delve into my old tumblr account, because this is a burden I've been carrying on my back since I first started tumblr, and that burden has only gained more weight since Ethan acknowledged my existence. First of all, I should probably make this clear: I've been watching Ethan since CrankyVlogs, but he didnt acknowledge my existence for another three years, despite my desperate pleas!"
Ethan scratches the back of his neck and smiles apologetically "Yeah, sorry about that."
You look back at the camera "Unfortunately, this means that for three years my tumblr was left untamed and uncensored, because I had not been acknowledged and therefore hadnt faced the terrifying reality that Ethan could see anything I posted at any random moment. So, without further ado, let's dive into my Ethan Nestor fan account."
Ethan's eyes widen "Wait, your tumblr was a fan account? It wasnt just, like, YOUR tumblr, but a fan account!?!"
You blink rapidly as you log back into your old tumblr on your laptop, not answering Ethan's question and instead just staring at your screen.
You point at your background and header photos "First thing worth noting, my tumblr aesthetic was ON POINT." You laugh slightly "Oh dear Ethan, look at the last thing I posted!"
Ethan leans forward on the couch to read out your last tumblr post on our old account "It says: Im logging out of this tumblr because if Ethan was to ever scroll to even just a few days before we met, he would never speak to me again, so gotta blast, sorry hoes." Ethan laughs and shakes his head "I cant wait to see what you posted before we met!"
You laugh with him, but your laugh is very awkward, and afraid.
"Yeah, haha, same..." You remark sarcastically.
Ethan takes the laptop from you and places it on his lap, smirking mischievously at you as he turns to face you so that you cant see the screen "Let me scroll through the wonders of my girlfriend's secret tumblr!"
Your eyes go wide "Oh dear."
Ethan's gaze fixes on your laptop screen, and he starts scrolling downwards. Within seconds, he bursts out laughing.
You cringe in advance "What have you found?"
Ethan wipes his eyes "You posted a picture of me shirtless from the eggnog bath video and captioned it: 'I want to cover Ethan's v-line in butter and slap that boy in a sandwich and eat him, but not in a vore way'. Oh my god, what the fuck (Y/N)!" He starts laughing again.
You cover your face with your hands in embarrassment "Fuck sake, this was such a terrible idea."
Ethan smiles at the screen "Awwh babe! Look at little you in my merch! You look so cute!"
You bury your face further in your hands and groan in humiliation "Im so glad that you and everyone watching can see what you're looking at, but I am being kept in the dark."
Ethan clears his throat as he starts reading out one of your other posts "Not to be dramatic but the day I realised Ethan looks like a blue iced gem was the day I decided I would take a bullet for him."
You lift your head from your hands and point at him "That is still true."
Ethan pouts at you "Does that mean it's no longer true that you wanna cover my v-line in butter, slap this boy in a sandwich and eat me but not in a vore way?"
You close your eyes in a pained blink "That post is so cursed."
Ethan starts giggling as he scrolls "Aside from the cursed shit, a lot of this stuff is just really cute, I can completely understand how all this built up to you bursting into tears when we first met."
You nod knowingly and sigh as you reminisce "It was an experience."
Ethan suddenly stops giggling, and when you look at him, he's frowning sadly at your laptop screen.
"What?" You ask him, immediately worried about what's upset him.
Ethan places your laptop back on the coffee table for you to see, and points at a post "What's this?"
Your eyes only have to scan over the first few words, and you feel a sting in your chest. Tears prick your eyes, and you laugh slightly as you sniffle.
"God, I can remember exactly how I felt when I wrote this." You say, wiping your eyes.
Ethan wraps an arm around you and pulls you into him "You want me to read it?"
You nod, knowing that hearing him read these words will hit you incredibly hard.
Ethan clears his throat "I know Im never going to meet Ethan, and that even if I did, it wouldnt change anything. I love him with everything I am, but the simple fact is: that's always going to be a one-sided thing. All I want is to meet him and make him smile, just once, and thank him for everything he's done for me, but I know that it wont happen. Even if it did, it wouldnt impact him at all, he'd completely forget I ever existed as soon as I walked away from him, and he wouldnt give me a second glance. Im not worth remembering. It breaks my heart that he'll never understand how much he means to me, but I know that so many other people have told him the exact things I'd want to say, and I'd just add to the list." Ethan looks down at you and speaks in a soft voice "(Y/N), I never knew you felt that way."
You nod and sniffle "I felt like that more times than I can count, it was awful. The day we met, I felt like that straight after."
Ethan scrolls back up to the top of your account and finds the pictures from when the two of you first met, he kisses the top of your head.
You laugh slightly and point at yourself "Literally seconds after that picture was taken and you walked away, I burst into tears, because I was totally convinced you'd forget I existed, I was just a fan!"
Ethan shakes his head and laughs slightly "First of all, you were crying through most of our conversation the first time we met. Second, you were never 'just a fan', you've always been an beautiful person who cant see how beautiful she really is, but now Im here to remind you!" He grins cheesily.
You giggle and lean up to kiss his cheek "What do you remember about the day we met? Ooh, I've got an idea! I'll tell the story of how we met the way I remember it, and then you tell your version of events!"
Ethan smiles at you "That's a good idea! You start."
You nod and look at the camera "Alright, so, it was a pretty average day for me. I'd spent all morning watching Ethan, when my mother came into my room and told me I needed to go pick up the Chinese food she'd just ordered, to celebrate some good news that she had for me. Obviously, I wasnt best pleased about having to get out of bed and stop watching Ethan, but Chinese food and good news were both very tempting, so I got up, got ready, and left. Just as I walked out of the Chinese takeout, I looked over at the opposite side of the street, and I had to do a double take when I saw who was stood outside, looking at the video games in the window of the game shop." You glance up at Ethan and smile "I recognised him straight away from the back of his head, his hairline was etched into my brain honestly, but I still wasnt totally sure." You turn your smile back to the camera again "I started panicking, walking back and forth in front of the Chinese takeout, wondering whether to cross and awkwardly ask if he was Ethan, or whether to accept my fate of never meeting him and just go home. I started overthinking so much that I began to cry, and then I leaned against a wall to calm myself down, with bags of Chinese food at my feet." You grin "That's when I heard the voice I'd been listening to for years over the internet, asking me if I was alright! As soon as I looked up and met his eyes, and I realised that THE CrankGameplays was actually looking at ME, I went into hysterics. At that point, Ethan had no idea that I knew who he was, so I should imagine he thought I was completely insane, but despite that, he hugged me and started shushing me to calm me down. To say I was on the verge of death would be an understatement, my soul had ascended man, fuck." Ethan laughs at your words, and you continue "So once I'd calmed down a bit I managed to explain, with a heavy stutter because of how nervous I was, that I absolutely loved him, I started babbling thank you's and utter nonsense, and Ethan just kept smiling at me. When I quietened down a bit, he told me he loved me too, he thanked me for watching his videos, and he hugged me again for a good few minutes. Obviously, at that point, in my head I was like: oh my god??? Ethan's hugging me????? for way longer than the average person would hug a complete stranger??? should I start deciding what flavour our wedding cake is going to be?? which was a real great mentality I acquired in that moment."
Ethan starts howling with laughter "I fucking love you!"
You grin and kiss his cheek "I love you too. So anyway after that we basically took a photo together and then Ethan apologised and said he had to go, which I said was fine but in reality I was thinking how much less painful it would be to get sawn in half than watch Ethan walk away from me. Then I cried again, picked up my Chinese food, and walked home. Cried all the way there. Mum found me, I told her what happened, showed her the picture, we cried together. Then, she tells me that the good news she had for me is she managed to get me Pax East signing tickets to meet Ethan!" You throw your hands up in the air "What the fuck!" You drop your arms "So I cried again. Then I ate Chinese food, went back to bed, watched Ethan, cried again because I met him. Posted the pictures on tumblr, cried again. Honestly, I have never cried so much in one day. Well, apart from Pax East when Ethan remembered who I was and I went so dizzy that he had to catch me because I was fainting but then I didnt faint because as soon as he touched me I snapped back to consciousness and was like: Ethan's touching me???? hello??????? fuck?? which was, again, a great mentality for me to have." You turn to Ethan, who is practically crying with laughter "So, how do YOU remember the day we met, honey gumdrop?"
Ethan wipes his eyes again and shakes his head as he recovers from his laughing fit "The interaction was practically the same memory for both of us, but the way I saw you was very different. I went out to see if the game store had any decent looking video games, and when I turned around from my window-shopping, I saw this girl crying on the other side of the street. She was alone, and shaking, so I ran across the street and asked if she was alright. As soon as I was face to face with her, I realised how beautiful she was, and I immediately wanted to beat the shit out of whatever or whoever had made her cry like that. When I found out that it was me, I no longer wanted to beat up what made her cry, because ow, Im a sensitive boy. Also, yeah, at Pax East you literally did faint, but the second I caught you, you were staring up at me and god, I wanted to kiss you so badly, but I didnt, because Im a respectful boy."
You mess up Ethan's hair "Well arent you just the cutest Mister ManBoy in all the land!"
Ethan smiles and nods "According to your tumblr, yes I am!"
You cover your face with your hands "We're just gonna end the video like this now."
Ethan chuckles and wraps an arm around you again, pulling you close to him with your face still covered by your hands.
"Thank you guys so much for watching, and remember that things always get better, my sad tumblr posts compared to now are living proof of that! I'll see you guys in the next one, which hopefully wont humiliate me beyond comprehension. Bye lads!" You speak through the gap between your hands.
Ethan sighs and gently squeezes your body "Y'know, this video proved you wrong, and it proved me very very right."
You take your hands away from your face "What do you mean?"
Ethan beams at you "You said this video could make me break up with you, that was incorrect, and I was right in saying that'll never happen, 'cause I love you too much."
You smile back at him, and lean up to capture his lips in a soft kiss.

You cant really argue with him on that now, because if your relationship can survive your cursed tumblr posts, it can survive anything.