The fear of falling apart// Namjoon x reader

14)I'm sorry I don't know my feelings

Y/N P.O.V:

This all still seems so unbelievable ! Its our first day here and it's almost night and all we did was walk around but yet it's so beautiful. I looked down on my phone which read 7:56 PM I looked straight and sat on the sand as I watched the waves. The light air hit my face and I heard someone walk towards me. I felt their presence sit next to me and I look and saw Mark. I have to admit he looked really handsome under stars. "You know that time I dropped you home and met BTS for the first time" he began to speak.

"I saw the way Namjoon looks at you, although he may act like he hates you , he actually loves you very much" I look at him and he looks back at me "you think so?" I asked and he smiled nodding his head. "Guys act like that when they try to forget a girl, they act like they hate them so that the girl doesn't fall for him" . There was silence and no one said anything. "He tired to forget you but he failed . and now he's still trying to put on his act but its hard for him not to express his feelings. is there a reason you won't allow him in your life?" he asked me and I looked down on my legs. 

"Actually..." I started "I don't know my feelings for him yet I think he's smart and handsome but i haven't developed feelings for him fully ...also 2 or 3 years ago I was dating this guy , he was my first love but he left without a word. I tried to call him and text him but all he could say was that he was sorry and ever since I got no replies" my eyes began to tear "but I believed he would come back one day and everything would be back to normal but he didn't and I don't want to be hurt again , I don't want anyone leaving me" I said as I began to cry.

"I won't ever leave you Y/N" I heard Mark say. i looked at him shocked "I like you Y/N" he said with glittery eyes. "but-" I began "When you said that you don't know your feelings for him yet I was honestly kind of revealed" he smiled "But you were talking as if Namjoon likes me , why?" I asked. "Well i thought you liked him and had no possible chance against him but now that I know that your heart is still available I want to win against him" he looked at me. I felt his hand lock with mine "What do you say Y/N?" he was full of hope. I took my hand back "I'm sorry Mark, i can't tell you my answer now but when i'm sure of my feelings i'll let you know" He nodded and looked down disappointed.

The walk back to the hotel was very awkward, no one said anything it was just pure silence. Luckily it wasn't long until we got back. I walked in the room to see JB watching TV "hey why are you back at the room so late?" he asked "don't worry MUM its just 8 pm" i stretched the word mum. He looked at me and saw i was awkward "what happened? are you alright?" he asked worried and came and sat next to me "yes well, you see-"  "Mark confessed to you" he interrupted I looked at him shocked "HOW DID YOU KNOW?" I almost shouted in surprise "Before coming here he told me that he was going to confess, But don't worry I only know" he smiled and I smiled back. I heard my phone vibrate:

FROM: KOOKIE 

HEY Y/N I HEARD YOU ARE IN JEJU ISLAND . THAT'S SO COOL I'M JEALOUS! WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE ME WITH YOU? ANYWAY ALL THE BOYS ARE WONDERING WHO YOU ARE WITH SINCE JIN WON'T SAY. 

I replied as i was wondering why Jin didn't tell them I guess he wanted to tease them.typical Jin.

TO: KOOKIE

HEY KOOKIE! I'M SORRY I LEFT WITHOUT A WORD BUT I ONLY FOUND OUT ON THE DAY THAT I WAS GOING. I'M WITH GOT7 SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME! NEXT TIME WE CAN GO TOGETHER I PROMISE~ 

I turned off my phone and saw that JB was already asleep luckily he went back to his own bed. So i did the same.