"The Risk Book"
CLOSED
All feedback contained here is pure opinion; some of these opinions have changed over time as the reviewer has since received professional training, but this book remains posted for the authors to look back on. Use discretion...
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Title The emotion it gives off is good!
Cover I like your cover. It's aesthetic and pleasing to the eye.
Blurb Besides the run-on sentence (the one that mentions a roller coaster ride), your blurb is great. +1 point for getting all three positive things so far! Not many people can do that.
*since your story contains 58 parts (gulp!), I'll be reviewing 8 parts at a time, coming to around 7 portions of review*
"Let's Be Professional"-Chapter 4 Your first part is good and concise. It's something that doesn't deter from getting to the reading, which is a problem that many writers have when they add notes like these at the beginning.
The prologue really isn't a prologue at all. It's the summary that is word for word outside of your story. You shouldn't put the summary in the actual book itself again. It's already outside of the story. Readers have opened your book to read your book. Don't make them wait any longer!
Speaking of that, you might have known already from previous reviews that I don't approve of cast lists (especially with the pictures naming every character) because they strip away the readers' imagination of the characters and because it makes you as a writer lazy. What I mean by that is that by putting a celebrity or model name to your characters, you relieve yourself of the responsibility of character description in the writing. Of course you'll put things in there like eye color to romanticize the characters, but the rest will be the celebrity. Am I wrong? It's totally fine to have a face claim later on, but an entire cast list—at least I believe—isn't needed right now. Besides, your readers probably won't even remember the faces of the pictures when they read. It's a bit pointless.
Oh, and not only do you have a cast list and pictures for every character, but now you have another part to include the celebrity cast list? You're making your readers wait a long time to read the story. Do not disappoint them with repeating information, especially when you already have the cast list posted on the bottom of every part anyway. People can look at that if they want to. I'd suggest doing that instead of putting pictures and everything. Some people, unlike me, appreciate the cast lists I suppose. Let the people like me just read your story. By the way, the trailers are lovely and I think they are fine before the story (although maybe they'd serve you better as a part of the summary outside?).
You just made your readers wade through four parts of "not-your-story." First of all, I'd suggest taking out the cast list apart from the cast listing at the bottom of each part to conserve time. I'd suggest taking out the repeated summary for the same reason. I understand the author's note, trailers, and awards. However, that could all be put in one short part at the beginning! That way, readers won't have to scroll and scroll and watch ads in between "not-your-story" (yes, don't forget about those ads!). That way, you don't make your readers wait to read what they opened the book up to read. -1 point for the inconveniences. Your total is zero.
