"The Risk Book"
CLOSED
All feedback contained here is pure opinion; some of these opinions have changed over time as the reviewer has since received professional training, but this book remains posted for the authors to look back on. Use discretion...
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Title I like the one-word, obscure title.
Cover I also like your cover. It's simple, which is what I like best about it.
Blurb The content? Pretty good. The grammar? Not so good. However, I can't pinpoint the errors because it's a variety of issues. If you'd like help with your blurb, comment here or inbox me about it. I'm willing to help.
*since your story comes in 18 parts, I'll be reviewing three at a time, coming to six portions of review*
Introduction–Chapter 1 I have a complaint, and I'm afraid that you won't heed my words. My complaint is the fact that you put your summary in there. Again. Why? The only reason authors have given me as to why they put their summaries in again is that "people don't read the summary outside, so we put it on the inside." To that, I say, "What were you thinking?" I believe I said the same thing in your last review, but I'm saying it again: your readers have opened your story for a reason. What is that reason? To read your story—not to read a summary or a cast list or even copyright information. Therefore, you'd better not disappoint your readers by pressing them to read 1) the same thing twice or 2) something they didn't want to read in the first place. I know readers who would decide not to read your story if there was too long of an "introductory" part. Don't let them think for a second that your story isn't worth reading even if you might think it isn't. Delete that summary. The rest can stay even if no one in their right mind will actually read that stuff. Let's move on from the introduction before stream whistles from my ears like a kettle on the burner.
It seems to be already too late, though! Why? Because there's a cast list. You already know what I'm about to say: no cast lists that are visible! Cast lists take away from the credibility of the author (ethos)! Cast lists make you look lazy! Ugh. Put cast lists on the bottom portion that Wattpad made for cast lists all you want. At least then readers can choose to look at the cast list if they really want to (meaning hardly anyone).
The artwork, though, was nice (I feel, however, that it could be tagged into the first part when you take out the cast pictures to save space and readers' irritability). Speaking of artwork, "thankyouuuuu" in one of the banners really isn't that professional for a graphic, especially since it is posted in every single chapter. Moving on to the actual writing.
Sometimes, you know, I don't like reviewing other stories by authors I've already reviewed before. Do you know why? Because most of the time, I make the same comments about grammar and style that I did in the last review except specific to the new story. That means that my feedback was not taken to the author's style and was just applied to the one story, which isn't just what my feedback is for. The same thing is going to happen in this story, and I hope you realize that my feedback is mostly general to your writing style. So, I'm going to write it again because I think it's important. "NOOOO" is not professional. Like I said in the last review, you can easily use italics and lowercase and only the two letters to give you the same emphasis. If those three things don't give you what you wanted to accomplish with the incorrect way, then you have the entire English language at your disposal to give you that emphasis.
