Desire (Kakashi) - Indefinite Hiatus

I cried writing this....Don't hate me....

A cold splinter of fear slowly pierces its way through my midsection. I sit up, panting heavily, and try to calm my racing heart. Fingers digging in to the sheets, I can’t escape the feeling that something is wrong.

Kakashi shifts slightly beside me, rolling over onto his side. He faces me, a peaceful expression upon his face. I feel like I should smile, but as I try to tug my lips back the cold splinter lengthens into a long shard of pure pain and my lips twist down into a grimace.

Something is wrong!

At first, the only thing I can think of is that I need to pee. I figure that once I get that taken care of I can figure out what exactly is going on, why it feels as if my blood has been replaced with pure lead. Sluggishly, I pull the covers back and let my legs dangle over the side. No one’s in the house, I’m sure of that. Even asleep, Kakashi is pretty guarded.

I slowly trudge to the bathroom. As I stand in front of the door, I come to the faint realization that I really don’t want to go in there. The bathroom is the source of all this dread and pain.

I’m not sure how long I stood there, frozen in front of the bathroom door with my fingers twisted around the knob, but I do know it took me a while to gather the courage to open the door.

Peering in, I don’t see anything out of the ordinary. I raise my hand out in front of me and wave it around, trying to see if there’s some kind of illusion or something going on in there.

“What are you doing?”

I scream and whirl around, landing a solid hit to Kakashi’s head. He grunts and grimaces, rubbing the forming bump, and I gasp.

“I’m so sorry!” I say, hands covering my mouth.

“Are you okay?” He asks, forgetting about his head.

I shake my head and back up into the bathroom. “I’m not sure yet. Let me pee.” I close the door before he can say anything else and let out a shaky sigh.

Okay, dread or no dread, I still have to pee.

I look down. I don’t know why I do. Something just tugs my attention down to my underwear.

The splinter of fear explodes. It’s like ice cold acid is slowly fanning out through my body, rupturing every cell in my body until it finally goes numb. My chest is heaving, air rasping through my lungs like a wet rubber, and soon tears are streaming down my cheeks-dropping onto my thighs.

I realize I don’t have to pee anymore. Never did. My body has the tendency to subconsciously make its way to the bathroom whenever I start my period.

A strange heartbroken sound fills the bathroom then and Kakashi pounds on the door.

I don’t move, body still numb, and Kakashi gets fed up with the door. He appears in a poof and rushes to my side. But I don’t register anything, still broken. Kakashi’s gaze follows my own, trying to figure out why I’m unresponsive. I hear him gasp and I slump back.

“Oh Alex.” I hear him say softly, shakily.

“Do me a favor.” I whisper hoarsely. “Go get me some new underwear and a pad, please.”

He nods, looking just as broken as I feel, and leaves the room. He returns a few moments later and hands me the requested items. I quickly fix it up and then stand, turning to stare into the toilet bowl. Small swirls of blood taints the otherwise clear water, making me sway on my feet and sick to my stomach. Kakashi sweeps me up, flushing the toilet, and does several hand signs.