Finding my way [Complete]

Chapter 29

Arthit's POV

I knocked on Kong's door after my long day of work. I had promised him to come by his room so that we could finally talk. As conflicted as I was about the conversation ahead I was atleast happy I would get to see Kong again.

I was greeted with a broad smile and could smell something really appetizing inside. I didn't even say hi before I pushed in. I was starving and I would agree to give Kong my kidney if he fed me right now. I went straight for the food gulping down a few mouthfuls before Kong joined me.

"So you want to talk now?" I asked in between bites.

"Haha, P'Arthit...eat first. You will choke if you eat and talk at the same time."

Once I was done with the meal I started awkwardly fidgeting around. How does one go about talking about these things?

"So..umm...maybe we should talk about what happened..." I started

"I love you"

I didn't know it was possible to choke on your own saliva, but right now I was going red in the face from all the coughing. Kong always scored top points for being unpredictable.

"What did you say?"

"P'Arthit I love you"

"What about your girlfriend?"

"I told you we broke up"

"When? Was it before or after you decided you wanted to randomly make out?" I asked getting irritated.

"It wasn't random. And it was before. We actually broke up right after exams."

"Why?"

He shrugged, "We are much better off as friends. I don't think we were really romantically connected. P'Arthit are you ignoring what I just told you? I love you."

"No, what I am trying to do is figure out how you went from dating one girl after another to suddenly confessing to me out of thin air."

"It's....not like that. You know none of those relations were serious. I...I just hadn't figured out my feelings yet. But I know now. It was because of you. It was always you. I love you. I know now. I want to be with you. Only with you."

I had waited so long to hear these words. I had imagined them so many times in so many versions. The boy I had dreamed of for 2 years almost constantly, the boy responsible for all my heartache and nearly all my smiles was finally telling me he loved me. I took a deep breath, wondering how I would survive these self-inflicted wounds.

"Kong how do I believe I am not the same as the other girls that come and go in your life?"

"You are not P'Arthit. How can you even say that? Don't you know me?"

"No Kong I don't. I thought I did but I clearly don't."

"Then give me a chance. I will prove it to you. I will show you how much I love you." He had walked up to me and held my face in his hands. He started peppering my face with kisses, pecking me over my eyes, my cheeks, my forehead, my nose, my mouth.

I had to make him stop before I ran out of courage. I grabbed both his wrists to stop his actions and then slowly pushed him away.

"No Kong. I don't think I can take that risk right now. I have too many things going on to allow you to play with my feelings."

"I won't play with your feelings. You know I would never do that. Why are you behaving this way? I know you feel something too. I know how you reacted to me. All you have to do is give me a chance."

"Kong I am sorry. I don't want to hurt you but I don't like you enough to risk hurting myself."

I could see his heart breaking. His face completely lost all life. I turned slightly cause I couldn't see the tears that were threatening to spill. I took a deep breath before continuing.

"Kong I think we should keep some distance for a while. I need to get going now. Bye."

I left his apartment as fast as I could. I needed to get away from here before I turn around and tell him what an idiot I am being and obviously I was in love with him too.

Som was going to call me a moron when he found out what I did. But I didn't mind being a moron. I didn't mind being the biggest fool there ever lived but there was no way I was getting involved with Kong with Mike still across the street. I had played cat and mouse with Mike for way too long and something needed to change. I had forgiven many of his mistakes over the years but this time I just couldn't. Cause this one had made Kong cry.

The people Mike owed money to didn't care who they hurt. If they thought you wouldn't keep up to your payment, they would break enough bones for you to remember never to do it again. It didn't matter to them who they hurt in the process. They involved me because I was related to Mike. But there was no way I was going to let them involve Kong. I wasn't getting close to Kong again until I had settled this matter for good.

I went back to my room to find it empty. I had needed to talk to Mike but not to worry, he would be back. Mike always came back. I was going to fix this, I promised myself. I would fix it and then go crawling back to Kong and beg his forgiveness. But first I was going to find a way to fix it.

I didn't tell Som anything about what transpired between Kong and me. I probably should have but I only had one confidant, one escape mechanism in Som and I really wasn't ready to lose him the same day I lost Kong.

I had requested a leave of absence from classes citing personal reasons, which was granted based on my past exam records. It had now been 3 weeks since I last saw Kong or Mike. I had been working day and night to accumulate enough money to atleast buy me enough time to formulate a long term plan. Som still came by to keep me company every night. He even tutored me whenever I needed. The one thing that changed was we never mentioned Kong. I don't know if it is a boon or bane that I still don't have a cell phone. Since I am barely at my apartment it has been impossible for anyone to reach me, including my friends.

On one particularly gloomy night Som was tutoring me again. The clock must have just struck 2 when a wheezing, out of breath Mike came running up to us and crashed right into me.

"Ouch Mike! What are you doing?" I started yelling when I stopped short. There was a huge gash on his forehead and he seemed to be bleeding profusely.

"What happened?" I tried to examine his wound when he cut in.

"Arthit, you need to hurry. They got Kong."