Finding my way [Complete]

Chapter 34

Arthit's POV

It had been a week since I had stepped out of Kong's house. I had gone to the factory the next night to thank Som for everything he had done and tell him that I was going to take a break from work for a while. Since then I had trapped myself in my room and had not left once. Som let me know that Mike did end up using his one way ticket to Japan. Som had offered to pay for a rehab center but Mike had refused.

It was a little past 1 in the morning and I was wide awake. Infact I had barely slept in the one week of self-confinement. I had spent so much of my life running around that when everything came to an abrupt halt I didn't know how to start again.

I just had so much anger in me. Anger at Som for having forced me to face my brother's betrayal. Anger at Kong for tossing around my emotions for so long. Anger at Mike for having just left, no goodbye, nothing. And finally anger at myself that even after years of torture and betrayal and pain I still couldn't let Mike go.

I needed to get out. I needed some fresh air. This room, the darkness, the loneliness was eating at me. I don't know how long I walked around on the deserted streets before I found myself outside Kong's door. I had ignored him for the past week. I had ignored the world.

I knew it was the middle of the night but I wish these actions were under my control. I raised my hand and gave a soft tap on the door. I didn't have to knock again as Kong jerked the door open as awake as I was.

"P'Arthit...." He looked at me with huge staring eyes "Come....come in."

I entered not really sure what I was doing here.

"Do you want to eat or drink something P'Arthit?"

"Ummm...no. Is it Ok if I stay here tonight?"

"Yes ofcourse" He took out an extra pillow from the closet and placed it on the bed as I laid down. He switched off the lights and laid down facing me. I had my eyes shut but I could feel Kong watching me. My chest felt so clogged with emotions that I was having a hard time breathing. I just needed to let it out.

"Mike and I were 6 and 4 when we were brought to the orphanage. Our parents had died in a car crash. I don't even know if I have any other relatives atleast none that were willing to take us in. We were the only family that the other had. You should have met him when he was young. You would have loved him. He was just like you. Wild and stubborn. Never followed the orphanage rules, always getting in trouble."

At some point I had started crying. Tears kept rolling down my cheeks and Kong kept running his hand through my hair to comfort me.

"I wasn't like him. I was shy and quiet. I hated fighting and I hated getting in trouble. I constantly had this fear that if we got in any trouble they would make us leave and then we would truly have no where to go. Or worse yet separate us. Growing up he was my whole world. He was so much more than my brother. He was my savior. He never let anyone bully me. Even if I was at fault he would take the punishment instead. In a place devoid of any warmth or affection he was always shone so bright, so confident. I couldn't help but look up to him. He was my hero."

"He ran away from the orphanage at 15 saying he was tired of being treated so bad, but he never left me. He would constantly sneak in to meet me and give my food and gifts. When he legally became an adult he took custody of me and we moved in to a small apartment. For the first time I had my own bed, my own clothes, a closet, things that belonged only to me and no one else. And he had given me that."

"I was 17 when I realized the money he was making was by running around with the local gang members. It had already been years since he had started working for them. I was so naive. I hadn't noticed it sooner but by the time I realized he also had a drug problem, they had him completely in their clutches. "

"We kept fighting and he kept promising that he would quit. But they wouldn't let him. Every time he was clean for some time they would come and give him free drugs to get him hooked again. Finally, he had reached a stage where he would be drugged all the time and they couldn't use him for work anymore. With him still racking up loans to feed his addiction they did the natural thing. Come after his brother. I had three simple choices. I start working with them like Mike, I pay back the loans, or I leave Mike to their mercy. I knew I was jumping in a never ending pit. I knew I wasn't helping Mike this way. I knew it. But what was I supposed to do? He was my brother. He was my family. He was all I had."

"I had hoped. I had prayed that once Mike got clean, stopped borrowing more money we would one day start leading normal lives. But with Mike it never stopped. I became a willing victim, ready to take the fall every time he slipped. I stopped acknowledging him as my brother in public cause more and more people started demanding money for his loans from me. I guess it eventually became true. I doubt he even remembers me as his brother anymore. After everything we went through he chose to just leave."

I don't know for how long I had been talking or how much I had cried but Kong silently heard me pour out my heart. He reached out and gathered me in his arms and buried my face in his chest.

"P'Arthit, maybe one day your brother will find his way back to you." He kissed my forehead and continued, "But either ways you are never going to be alone again."

I closed my eyes, ready to sleep after many days.

"Kong"

"Hmmm?"

"I love you."