Aarmau AU ⌑❐Sessions❐⌑

✄1✄ Red Rain

Depression

I don't believe in it. I don't believe that depression is a mental disorder. I don't believe its even a thing. I believe its a trick of the mind. I believe its mere self-pity

But not everyone thinks that way.

Not my mother not my father and not my friends.

Just me.

Every little thing wrong with people that the world can not understand is thrown under as a disorder.

Being addicted to video games? Disorder.

Getting nervous? Disorder.

Not being able to control your emotions? Disorder.

Everything that they can not understand? Disorder.

All the crazy thoughts in my head if I were to speak them out loud id be sent to a mental asylum so fast.

I'd be locked away for years and left to die alone.

Murders and crimes are not always committed because one is crazy. For we have free will and what we do is our choice. Anyone could kill anyone it's just a matter of how you see it.

Be brainwashed by the media or learn from yourself.

Crimes can pay.

But so can many other things.

Life can pay.

For depression is not a disorder it is simply a trick of the mind. That is how I see it.

I sighed staring out the car window as we drove down the empty abandoned road.

If what I think is not what they want to hear,

You pay.

I leaned back in my chair and looked at the front of the car. My dad driving well my mother was on the phone.

I took my earphones out of my pocket and plugged them into my phone.

I didn't want to hear my parents. I wasn't allowed to have a voice anyways. They wouldn't listen to me so why bother.

I sighed another dramatic sigh and looked back out the window.

Every day for the rest of my life id is going there. They would never let me stop going not until I was normal.

I could pretend to be normal pretend to show emotion but whats the point. If I'm suffering ill drag them down with me.

The car finally came to a stop and I backed away from the window. I looked at the front seat. My mother had turned off her phone and put it away well my dad was getting out of the car.

My mother turned to look at me with heavy eyes then unlocked her door leaving the car.

They both stood in front of my door and my dad opened it up.

"Come on Aphmau we are not doing this every day." My dad said reaching in to grab me.

I backed away to the other side of the car and my mother hurried to the side I was one.

"If I suffer so shall you," I mumbled.

"What was that?" He asked reaching out to grab my foot.

He got hold of my foot and I punched him straight in the gut. He backed away from the car hoping on one foot. My mother rushed over to his side holding him tight. He put a hand over her shoulder and she helped him steady regain his balance. They both shot glares in my direction and I rolled my eyes.

"Fine just cause I'm in a good mood," I mumbled well getting out of the car.

I slammed the door shut behind me and my mother grabbed my hand. I looked up at her with disgust and she nodded her head.

"You won't be getting away again." She opened up the door and shoved me inside before they entered.

They followed behind me and stood at the front desk. The lady looked up smiling.

"Aphmau Phoenix, 17 years old, a session for two o'clock." My mother said returning the smile.

The lady nodded her head and picked up a file. She placed it down on the desk and I grabbed it.

"You're good to go Ms. Phoenix."

I nodded my head and turned away from them. I looked back and noticed my parents going back towards the car.

I rolled my eyes at that and stopped in front of a large door. My eyes wandered up the door and I stopped at the doorknob.

I reached out to grab it and I swung the door open.

I closed it slowly behind me and looked around.

"Aphmau." Someone called out.

I looked up and noticed a sweet therapist smiling.

"Hi.," I mumbled taking a seat on the chair in front of her desk.

"So tell me how your condition has been lately?" She asked as she took the file out of my hand.

"It's not a condition," I responded.

"Aphmau, depression is a serious medical condition and you must understand that." She said frowning.

"Ye and apparently so is playing video games," I replied well playing with my hair.

"Look I've had enough with you!" She said slamming her fist on the table.

I glanced up at her and I could tell she really did have enough.

"You're always coming into my office. I try to make you understand but you just don't listen. You don't care! You don't even consider how hard this is! Have you ever thought about how I felt!" She yelled picking up my file and throwing it to the floor.

I looked down at the file as papers scattered across the floor.

I have been here for 7 years. Yet nothing has ever changed.

I looked back up at the girl and my face was stone cold.

"No," I responded.

She looked at me with even more anger and I could see her shaking now.

"Why can't you just pretend to be okay!?" She walked around from the desk and stopped beside me.

She looked down at me and my eyes never left hers.

"Because"

"I want you to suffer."

She raised her hand up high and there was a lot banging noise.

The door flew open and she quickly looked over bringing her hand down. Her mouth hung open as she began to stutter out words.

"Whats going on in here!?"