When Shadows find Light (SOTAM FF) ✔️

That's How I View Them - Tam's POV

I walked into the archway of Everglen. That's where Grady said she was going. He had been looking at me with a strange expression, though. Oh well. I tightened the grip on the beautiful white flowers I was going to give her. I knew we weren't really a thing yet, I just wanted to. It seemed nice enough to do. And, they reminded me of her in a way. The way the white petals ended in soft honey yellow tips. Just like the flecks in her eyes. I found myself taking a deep breath before stepping in the archway. Then I backed away, back behind a tree. I heard laughter. From Fitz. I slowly peeked out of the tree.

What I saw made me press my back into the tree so hard I felt the bark digging into my skin, even though the thick fabric of my cape was there. "Fitz, tell me!" I heard Sophie squeal. I felt my breathing quicken and I dropped the flowers behind the tree. "No!" he protested. "Then I guess i'll have to do this!" Sophie yelled and Fitz was laughing hysterically now. I peeked from the tree and saw Sophie on top of Fitz.

I felt my hands clench and my vision blurred with jealousy. Rage. I felt my throat tighten up in defeat. She was lying. She probably didn't like me, anyways! Then why did she kiss you, Tam? A tiny part of my conscience whispered. I narrowed my eyes. I took a breath and felt the cool chill of shadows engulf my body, making me disappear into the tree's shade. I sighed in relief of the all-too-familiar feeling.

"...Memory loss." I heard Fitz mention. I banged the back of my head on the tree angrily. I heard them pause for a moment. I knew they were staring at the tree that had just shedded a few extra leaves. Sophie giggled. "Yeah. I remember that time. It was funny." she laughed. My throat tightened in anger. I clenched my fist and snuck out of the tree's coverage and headed for the archway path. My back was slouched in defeat, but I refused to let anyone see myself in such a vulnerable state. I straightened my back and walked sternly. But that didn't stop me from clenching my empty fists.

I heard footsteps behind me, not far away. "...Anyways, Fitz, I have to go. I'll see you soon." she said. I quickened my pace and tightened my clenched hands, if that was even possible. But it was. I heard the footsteps stop suddenly. "T-Tam?"

It was Sophie's sweet, delicate voice. I ignored her and kept walking, as much as that hurt my heart as much as it did hers. I took in a shaky breath and listened to Sophie's footsteps quicken to match mine. I suddenly felt a small hand rest upon my shoulder. I stopped walking. "Tam..." she whispered. I sighed and felt her wince. I knew it made her think I was annoyed with her.

I turned around halfheartedly. "What is it?" I asked coldly. She grimaced at my tone. Watch it, Tam. "Tam, it's not what you think-" "Then how come you think that i'm thinking that, huh, Sophie?" I asked. I made sure my voice wasn't at all loud or frustrated, although all I wanted to do right now was sob and scream and punch somebody. But there was an advantage to my calm tone. It scared others. When everyone expected the other to at least sound mad, like everyone else, they wouldn't be surprised. But if I didn't sound surprised, they would sense something wrong.

That was how and why the other elves in Exillium weren't very... fond of me. Fond was putting it lightly. I looked into Sophie's usually warm, welcoming, determined eyes, which were now laced with fear, filled with sadness, and glazed with guilt most of all. But in a tiny part of my mind, her eyes whispered, love.

I looked at her, waiting for an answer. She seemed as dumbfounded as I was. "What were you doing here?" she asked finally. "Oh, nothing." I said bitterly. "Like what you told Grady. Nothing." She looked hurt. "I only told him that because-because..." "Because you didn't want him to know about your little accident with little Fitzroy here?" I asked pleasantly. She looked scared. "N-No, Tam, well, I mean, technically, but-" I scoffed. "Oh stop it, Sophie! I've experienced this before. It's like Déjà Vu. I thought I liked Biana, and she liked me, but it turned out she liked someone else. Like now, except it has someone else. A one particularly familiar Sophie Foster." I said. She stepped back. "Listen, Tam, you need to hear me out-" "I've seen enough, Miss Foster. You don't need to pretend to like me anymore. You got Fitz." I said. She looked at me, rage glazing her eyes suddenly.

"FINE! If you really want to play this game, i'll join. And i'll make sure i'll win." she spat. I almost took a step backwards from her sudden ferocity. But luckily, I didn't. "I'd gladly play, Sophie. But I think i've already lost." I said furiously. All the color in her face drained. "TAM! SNAP OUT OF IT AND HEAR ME OUT!" Sophie screamed. I scowled at her. "What more do I need to know?" I asked, burning holes in her skin with my silvery-blue orbs.

She looked ready to burst. "You know what? All you need to know, huh? Well, all you gotta know is that I really liked you, and I think I'm having second thoughts!" she yelled. I looked behind her shoulder murderously at Everglen. "Funny you mentioned that. Because I'm having mine." I shot back. "From when?" she asked. "Huh, let's see. I thought I liked you. Nope. I thought you liked me. Nope. And now? It seems I'm right." I said angrily. She looked desperate at that point.

"What kind of delusion-? Listen, Tam-"

"I'm tired of listening. I've listened ever since Exillium. Listened to how my parents insulted me and Linh. Listened how whispers spread like rushing water all around me. Listened to insults. Now, YOU listen, Sophie. I'M. TIRED. OF. LOVING!" I said, fury and sadness and tears blurring my vision. I saw Sophie droop noticeably.

I pulled out my leaping crystal and rose it up to the light. "Tam, WAIT!" Sophie protested. I didn't listen. But I couldn't help but make my voice break noticeably while barely whispering, "Alluvetere." The last thing I saw as I was pulled into the light was Sophie crumpling to her knees, weak, pale, and heartbroken.

loving is like a zOO