Kiss Me Awake || Woofless ff

Chapter 37

SOTC- Say Something (A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera)

-Robert's POV-

It has been two months since Natalie has gotten into the life-threatening car accident. It has been two months without her. It has been two months that Natalie has been in a coma. I went to the doctor's office last week and he said that I was diagnosed with depression.

I drive to the hospital and go visit Natalie. I start my speech..

"It is three o'clock in the morning and I am kept awake by the three thousand reasons I still love you. Every time I close my eyes, another memory plays in front of me like a flash of lighting. I am kept stormcloud by you.

It is three o'clock in the morning and the only way I could write this poem was by waiting until I was sleep-drunk enough to be honest. I want to pick up the phone and call you just to see if you would answer. I want to text you all three thousand reasons that seem so obvious to me, an ever-expanding list of why you feel more like home than the heartache of the building I grew up in, why there's no such thing as kissing you too often, why my palms feel empty when you're not there to hold me, why i crave you like a bullet hole or a speeding train but

it was three o'clock in the morning when I met you. We were all tipsy on more shots than our parents would have been proud of, you were too drunk to notice that fate had tied nooses around our necks, i was too drunk to believe that this could really end.. I remember your humor the most, the way your words seem to flow in the moment, the way you filled up a room like you were unafraid of being noticed. Later, you would curl up beside me with your familiar body heat and I would say "she's funny" and you would pretend to be asleep.

Like galaxies with linked arms the two of us fell into an orbit I was not a part of. Your laughter followed you home. I could hear you in my heartbeat because it suddenly sounded happy.

I don't know exactly when but I lost you. Maybe it was somewhere between the unanswered messages and forgotten dates and times where the silence between us suddenly felt foreign. Maybe it was while I was in the middle of a sentence and you turned up the radio because it was your favorite song. Maybe it was the first time you met me.

I watched myself disappear to you. My mother raised me to be titanium, steel plating around soft body, but you were cold diamond and good lord did you cut me. I emptied myself into everything I could. I slimmed down and talked less and didn't ask for anything. I am hollowing out, I am becoming two dimensional, I became the sound that fills a room when a song is done. I am a creature of words and I taught myself to live in silence.

It's three in the morning and the last thing you said to me was that you were going to hang out with me. I haven't checked up on you all night. I'm worried about what will happen if I do.

I have three thousand reasons why I love you. It's three o'clock in the morning and I love you but good lord I know that I mean nothing to you now."