Kiss Me Awake || Woofless ff

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

SOTC- Skyscraper (Demi Lovato)

-Robert's POV-
Almost three months. I can't believe it. I've only been eating in the mornings. I don't think she will ever wake up. I haven't visited Natalie in two days. She hasn't even moved. I think she's dying.
I decide to go to the hospital today. I need to visit her. I hate myself for what I've done.
"Hey beautiful. How are you doing? Im doing horrible. I hate myself for what I have done. I wish you can wake up," I cry softly. I wipe my eyes and sit down and pull the chair to Natalie.
"I love you. And I would pay anything for your existence now. I am dying inside. You've killed me. And yourself.. but you aren't dead. I love you so much. A day can't pass by without thinking of you and breaking down. I'm broken, Nat. I'm dying, Natalie. Slowly, and surely going to die. I'm so sorry babe. I love you so much." I grab her hand and grip it tight.
"Natalie, please. I'd kill, for you to wake up and be in my life. You have so much to live for and I can't imagine a world without you. You've fixed me, but im hurt again. Just please. God damn! God why do you hate me? What have I done! Im f***ing sorry! I want to kill myself for what I've done God! Please!" I yell, my face turning red and my shirt and neck becoming wet.
"Just please," I whimper, squeezing Natalie's hand.
"I want you back," I whisper, squeezing her hand for the last time, before leaving the hospital.
-
Preston and Nooch had to talk to me out of killing myself today...
So this is what happened.
After I came home from the hospital, I got a text from Preston.
"Hey dood! Wanna hang out?"
"Not rly. I'm pretty upset."
"Dood, you need some friends to cheer you up!"
"No, I'm good. I'm just not in the mood."
"C'mon"
"No"
"I'm coming over anyway. I don't care xD"
"Fine"
I took the rope and tied it into a noose. This had to happen. I went into my room and took the noose and tied it around the sturdy, high ceiling fan. I took my desk chair and stood on top of it.
"If this is what it has come to. God, why do you hate me? What did I ever do to you that you have to make me kill myself? Is this what you want? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT!? I'm killing myself today. June 22, 2014. Write it down on a paper. Maybe I will meet Natalie's mother and tell her how deeply in love I am with her daughter. And how I caused her coma and maybe death. Are you happy God? ARE YOU HAPPY? I'm broken! You can't take everything from me! But, I'm taking my life. Gee, what do I have to live for? Nothing. Nothing! You should be happy. You hate me anyway. You've taken my appetite, my girl, my happiness, my life," I tied the noose around my neck and tight.
"On the count of three.
1
.
2
." I heard the door bust open. Preston and Nooch ran around my house freely. Preston ran down the hall and ran into my room. His eyes widened, his body collapsing into sobs.
"Preston!" Nooch yelled, running into my room. He stopped. His eyes filled with shock, defeat and tears.
"Rob, please. Don't do this," Nooch cried.
"I need to Mat," I replied.
"No, no it doesn't. You have to come down from there. You have so much to live for, Rob. Please," Preston sobbed, wiping his eyes and getting up.
"Preston-"
"Rob! You are better than this! What do you think will happen when Natalie wakes up? She will be as broken as you. She will kill herself. Do you think she will want that? She is in love with you, Rob. She will wake up Rob. She loves you so much. If she were here, do you think she would let this happen? She would hug you and never let go. She would kiss you until you are healed. Rob, please, do not kick that chair. Please," Preston cried, tears falling down his face.
"What if I do?" I yelled back. "What if it's for a reason I kill myself right now at 3:55 pm?"
"Imagine if Natalie were here. What if she saw you right now. You're a mess Rob. She will wake up. She will love you. You guys will live together forever. You guys are perfect."
"You aren't helping," I replied.
"Rob, please," Nooch cried.
I hung there for a few minutes.
"Rob, please," Preston whimpered.
"She's been in a coma for almost three months. I don't think she's waking up any time soon. At least I'll be happy in heaven."
"Rob, you don't need to do this. You are such an amazing friend. Do you know how many people will care if you do this? You know how many fans will be depressed? Because their favorite YouTuber killed himself? 700,000 and more. That's how many. These girls and boys can kill themselves, just because of something you done. Is that what you want?" Preston explained. I didn't say anything, taking the noose off of my neck and jumping down.
"Oh Rob," Preston hugged me tight. "Never let go."