Not how it was planned - Sequel

Prologue

Prologue

Don’t cry. You have never cried in public before, why change that now? Crying wouldn’t make things easier, it would make you break down immediately. Would he have cried if had been in your place right now? Probably not, so you are not going to shed one single tear. Not one! You are going to swallow the big thing in your throat and blink away the tears. Okay, definitively not working. Blink some more. Was he going to miss…

Don’t cry. Ignore the excruciating pain in your stomach, or maybe heart? Do not think this is some sad movie where you break down and there is sad music playing in the background. Tears will only make mess up your makeup. Who am I kidding, you’re not wearing any makeup.

Don’t cry. Take a deep breath and move on. No sobbing, no comforting. This is just a little heartache, no one has died. Think of something else. Poor people in Africa! Oh, not a good idea, that will just make the urge to cry bigger. Think about puppies, not cats. Because that will remind you… Fuck.

Don’t cry. I repeat do not cry a fucking tear. No matter how you feel right now, it will get better. You are not weak, you are not sad. This is for the best. If you were meant to be he would have stopped you, and he sure as hell wouldn’t slept with another girl. He would have fought for you, not to mention at least be sad when you left.

Don’t cry! Since when did you become one of those weak ones? When had crying ever helped anyone? That only made people feel sorry for you. This isn’t a really break-up either. You were never together… You never even kissed!

Don’t cry! People are starting to stare. What do they think? A girl walks around in the middle of the night. Not with her friends, not heading anywhere just walking. The only reason for walking is that you get some fresh air and some time to think. Being home was too painful. To tempting to go on the computer and look at pictures, memories…

Don’t cry. This is not the end of the world. There will be other boys, there will be other chances. Now you at least have the motivation to get a well-paid job. No relaying on rich boys. At least you still had the clothes you bought while you were there. Even one of his big sweaters.

Don’t cry. Come on, even the thought of his clothes makes your eyes water, pull yourself together girl! Everything was going to be fine, if you just got home and went to sleep. How are you even going to sleep? The soothing snoring is gone, the warmth of his body is not beside you anymore…

“Oh my god!” some girls screamed and ran towards me. It was three girls, probably around fourteen. I looked around and was surprised to find out that it was me they were talking to.

“Are you that girl that Harry dated?” they asked and for some reason I thought about energy drinks. They seemed to hyper to be just normal. What the hell where they doing up this late? It was long after midnight. I bit my lip to stop it from shaking.

“No…” I said and avoided their eyes. They were too happy. Too filled with joy. Too filled with expectations that would get crushed after some time. Eyes that believed in love and everything else good. Eyes that believed that things were going to end happily. Eyes that believed that fairytales had a happy ending. Eyes that almost made me loose it.

“You have to be, you look exactly the same!” one of the girls said. I shifted uncomfortably.

“I mean yes, or no. We didn’t date, just friends,” I said quietly. They exchanged excited looks.

“We totally ship you. You and Harry seemed so sweet together,” the one in the middle said. Shipped us? I had seen on tumblr and actually many did, not that I understood how. There were only a few public photos of me, and none of them were of good quality. Apparently good enough to recognize me, but I hadn’t been bothered by press or anything. Well at least until now.

“I can’t believe it. You’re actually friends with One Direction!” one of them screamed.

“I’m sorry but I got to go now,” I said.

“Wait!”

I turned around and looked at the girls. They were all looking at me with begging looks.

“Can we at least have your autograph?” they asked. I looked shocked at them. They wanted my autograph? Because I managed to get drunk and getting them to save and practically forcing them to become my friends?

“Um… I guess,” I said. They found some piece of paper and handed me a pen.

How no idea why you want this, but here you go

-Monica

I gave it to them and smiled at their excitement.

“Thank you sooo much!” one of them said as I handed it to them. I turned around and tried to keep the smile on my face, but it quickly disappeared.

Don’t cry…