Not how it was planned - Sequel

26. The end of it all

 “Hey! WAIT!” I heard a familiar voice behind me yell. Nonononono! Keep on walking, do not turn around!

“Monica!”

I turned around and found Harry running towards me. My body reacted sooner than my brain. Before I even knew it I was in his arms again. Just like last time, and just like last time this was our last goodbye. This was it, for real this time. Inside I felt like there were a disastrous storm, everything was chaos and I had no control. I pressed my body even closer to him. To feel him for real one last time.

“Stay,” he whispered in my ear before pulling away to see my face. His arms were still around my waist.

“What?” I whispered shocked and looked up at him through my wet eyelashes.

“Stay,” he repeated. God, if he just knew how I felt when he said that word. It was shocking how much one word could hurt. Last time ‘stay’ would have been the word to change my mind, but it didn’t mean anything right now. I couldn’t stay. It was too late to go back, it didn’t change anything.

I started shaking my head slowly as tears kept on streaming down my face.

“I’ve tried, but I’m sorry Monica, I can’t let you go,” he said slowly while staring intensely in my eyes.

“I can’t let you go. I want you… I need you! Monica, I…” he started but I interrupted him.

“Harry, please don’t...” I begged in a whisper. I already knew what was coming, and I had no chance to stop him from saying it.

“Monica, I love you, I’m in love with you,” he said every word slowly like not only I needed to process it but he needed to process them too.

I released my grip around his shoulders and for a moment I was completely frozen and had no idea what to do. Before I could change my mind or let my brain think it through I grabbed his neck and pulled his face down to mine.

There were no thoughts in my mind in that moment; I was just filled with emotions, tons of emotions.

I pressed my lips harshly against him. First I could feel he was surprised and tensed, but as he understood what was happening I could feel him relax.

Only after a few second he pulled his lips away from mine, and we both stared intensely at each other. It was like we both needed to catch our breath and digest what was going on.

Slowly he removed his hands from my waist and carefully placed my face in his palms. He looked deeply in my eyes before he closed his eyes and lowered his face towards mine.

I could feel his warm breath before his soft lips met mine. He pressed his lips so gently to mine that I barely felt them at first. The kiss was so tender, and it was like he was waiting for permission to really kiss me. It felt like we had kissed like this forever. Our lips moved and fitted perfectly together, and as he realized that I actually was kissing him back and not pushing him away he let the kiss grow more passionately.

Nothing else was on my mind. It was like we were all alone, just us two. No problems, no drama and no pain. This was what I had been waiting for so long to do. Finally I was able to give into my emotions. This was the moment I had dreamt of for so long.

For the first time since Harry had slept with Charlotte I could feel my self letting go. Letting go of what he had done, and letting go of the pain. Just allowing myself to love.

Who would have known that the word the scared the hell out of me was now the one to let down my wall?

When I finally found the strength to pull away we both just looked at each other.