4. Running from bad memories

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Low talking in the room beside me woke me up. Luckily I was busy with studying yesterday so I hadn’t had the chance to go out. I was thankful for that now. Who knew waking up without a headache could feel so good? For the first time in ages I woke up, not like a wreck with hair and makeup everywhere, but like a princess. Or at least I felt like a princess. My hair was just a bit messy after lying on the pillow, nothing a brush couldn’t fix.

Now, who was Anna talking to? I was about to stand up, but then my laziness caught me and convinced me to stay in bed and just chill. Some computer time would be good, I thought as I found my laptop and placed it on my lap.

Before everything happened I was on Tumblr all the time, but seeing Harry made me feel bad so I simply stopped going on Tumblr. It wasn’t because I was heartbroken; it just reminded me of things I didn’t necessarily think of as good.

“Monica?” Anna called from where she sat in the livingroom. She probably heard the sound coming from my computer.

“Yes?” I said and to my surprise was completely fine. Not soar after screaming during the night. I really needed to stay in more often.

“I’m skyping with Niall, want to join?” she asked. God, give it a break!

“Nah, I’m busy,” I said annoyed.

“No you’re not you little liar, you’re watching Glee, I can hear it!” she said and laughed. I heard some laughing from her computer as well. Fuck… I just froze and hoped she would forget that I was in my room.

“Get your lazy ass in here before we come in to you,” she said.

“Fine,” I said and sighed dramatically. I stood up and pulled a big sweater over my head. I opened the door and sat beside Anna in the small coach.

“Hey Niall,” I said and rubbed my eyes. It was so much lighter in here than in my room.

“Hi Monica, long time no see,” he said and gave me a brilliant smile. His familiar accent sent me a flash of memories. I stood up and walked the two steps I had to get in the kitchen. Anna gave me a surprised look.

“I said Hi,” I said and looked desperately in the fridge to find something to eat.

“Come on, he wants to talk to you,” she said and turned her computer towards me. I ignored Niall’s face on the computer.

“Sorry I don’t have the time, I’m going out for a run,” I said as soon as I found an excuse. I went into my bedroom before she could object. What the hell was she trying to do? She knew how I tried to forget everything that happened. She probably thought she was saving me, that I was missing it so bad and wouldn’t admit it. But that wasn’t true, it was as far from true as you could get. I wasn’t sad, I was just over it. One Direction was the most famous boyband in the world, nothing more.

I wasn’t sad that I had left, and I sure as hell didn’t want to go back. Someone needed just to tell Anna that, because she refused to believe me.

I quickly changed to my jogging-clothes and ran out.

The fresh air immediately made me feel a whole lot better. Loud music in my air gave me the force to keep the speed up. Not only was I in better shape than ever, but there was some sudden anger that gave me more energy than usual. I was my own person couldn’t I make my own decisions? Anna probably only wanted me to keep in touch with them so she could meet Niall.

Even though it was a while since we were crazy about One Direction I don’t think Anna ever gave up on our dream as I did. Especially not now when she was talking to her biggest love. What she needed to realize was that being a girlfriend of One Direction wouldn’t be easy. Who would want one that didn’t have time for you when you could pick one that had all the time in the world?

As I felt my breathing was getting worse than a 70 year old man who had smoked for 50 years I slowed down. My heart was pounding wildly as I sat down.

How long had I been running? I had no idea, but I was out of energy at the moment, which forced me to take a cab home. For the first time in running history I wasn’t able to finish. In fact I had absolutely no idea were I was. The only thing I knew at the moment was one thing. I was definitively lost.

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