Reviewed by Key-Keeper Ava Avocados12
Author: Fa1245
Title: Mad Hero
Genre: Humor
Review:
Cover:
4/5
The cover is very fitting. It would be better if the word 'Mad' was bigger.
Blurb:
4/5
The blurb is mysterious and makes readers think, the analogy is perfect! It is missing a few small wors
like of and so.
Title:
3/5
It fits the story but is very vague.
Plot:
6/10
The plot is very jumpy, making it very difficult to follow. It needs to flow better.
Character Development:
5/15
The characters are not developed well in the early chapters. When Sunny cries it seems over dramatic
and unrealistic as you have not described how he feels or why he is crying, just that he begins to cry like
a baby. It would be better if his emotions were described, it would help the reader to connect with him.
For example, instead of 'he started crying like a baby' try something like, 'Embarrassment caused
Sunny's cheeks to flush red as the customer looked at him. He had messed up, asked too many
questions. Again. He had driven the customer away. Again. He had disappointed his father. Again. His
father's look of disapproval burned in his mind until finally the tears spilled over. He began crying like a
baby, right in front of the customer.' There is also very little description of some characters. I am not
sure what the girl who got run over looks like, or Sunny really.
Spelling and Grammar:
3/10
There are some major grammatical errors. Run on sentences, missing commas, tense issues etc. It needs
major editing.
Overall:
5/10
Other Comments:
You have good ideas and I can see this book going places, with some editing. Your strength is using
figurative language such as similes and metaphors, although they can sometimes be confusing and over-
bearing due to the lack of description. Your weaknesses are spelling, grammar and punctuation and
description of emotions and appearances. Editing and adding descriptions will drastically increase the quality of your writing and in-turn your book. Keep persisting, you will get there.
-Key-keeper Ava
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