Carte Reviews (Closed)

Juliette: Amobi and the Door Beyond Time

Reviewed by Key Keeper Juliette Dragonrat703

Author: Noble_Roar
Genre: Adventure
Title: Amobi and the Door Beyond Time

Cover 4/5

The cover illustration is amazing and fits the story very well, and the title is big and bold, perfectly positioned. The only reason this didn't get a five out of five is because the font of "Amobi" and "Beyond" could be better. It's a common font that looks a bit unprofessional and doesn't really fit with the theme. The font for "and the door" and "time" is perfect. Picking a more mysterious or unique font for the other words would make this cover absolutely perfect (it's the best I've seen in a while).

Blurb 4/5

Once again, the blurb is almost perfect. There is one typo at the very end, where it says "Its going to be epic" instead of "It's going to be epic." Comparing it to the Percy Jackson series is a great way to draw your target audience in. The "Maybe. Hopefully. Look, just give it a try, okay?" part could be used differently. Putting it at the beginning can make you sound hesitant about the work. It could be taken out, but if you want to use it for its humorous effect, placing it towards the end might be a better idea. That way, the reader can already be drawn in by the interesting blurb (which does a great job of conveying the overall tone of the story).

Title 5/5

The title is perfect and drew me in right from the start. It fits the genre and target audience of the story perfectly, falling in with other books of its genre (e.g. Percy Jackson, Harry Potter) by putting the main character's name with an "and" statement. It's a great way to lure in your target audience (middle-grade readers) with the familiar set-up, and places your book firmly in the fantasy/science fiction realm. Nothing to be improved.

Plot 8/10

The plot was very appealing and got started right away, after an entertaining look into the main characters' lives. You didn't information dump, which is very good. I never once felt like skimming because the snappy dialogue and humor held my attention fully. The story was built on in increments, with each event drawing me in more and more. I only caught one real plot hole-the attack by the Lord of the Rhinos seemed skated over. Even if the people at St. Gregory's were trying to cover it up, they would have to have an explanation for a staff member's disappearance. Everyone seemed to forget about it, and I understand that they were trying to make Amobi feel like it wasn't true, but I think a better cover-up story would be needed for it to feel realistic. Also, Amobi's grandfather is mentioned as an important plot element, but not much was explained about him in what I had read. I would put this information in earlier so we can know about Amobi's past and his character more, and how his grandfather relates to the Igbo gods. Finally, I was a bit confused on why Chioma and Iboma were allowed into the temple if they had previously been banned. The Masks seemed unexpectedly forgiving. Perhaps make this plot element more clear. Otherwise, the plot was paced well and a perfect mix of tradition and uniqueness, with mystery, suspense, emotion, and humor perfectly balanced! It makes for a very good adventure story.

Character Development 12/15

Your characters had clear personalities right from the beginning. I.K. was the awkward, smart kid, but he was complex and unique enough to not feel like a recycled stereotype. Somto was a great character in multiple ways. They are gender fluid but this is treated normally in the story and as just a small part of their overall identity. This is great, because many books, in an attempt to promote diversity, will use stereotypes or make the person's being LGBTQ+ the most important aspect of them. Somto was a real person and was very well-written. Amobi was a humorous and entertaining narrator, and while he didn't seem to have a truly deep personality or inner reflections, I think it fits for this kind of book. It's more about the plot and adventure than the character studies. While Amobi could be developed a bit more and reflect on things more than just react to them, I found him to be a good narrator for this story, and further development would be entirely optional since it's clearly for middle-grade readers.

Spelling and grammar 8/10

Mostly flawless, although I did catch some errors (nothing that a quick read-through wouldn't catch). Mostly things like "were" instead of "where" (this happened twice in the first chapter), misplaced or missing commas, and an overuse of semicolons. I recommend a writing check program like Grammarly (the free version is fine, don't let them trick you into paying money), which really helps with things like this.

Overall 9/10

Overall, the story was great for its target audience. I was very impressed by it, and with work it might even gain publishing potential. You clearly put a lot of effort and research into it, and it paid off well with its great humor and fun adventure. I really liked that you focused on Igbo myths instead of the overused Greek and Roman ones. Great job all around!