Carte Reviews (Closed)

Juliette: The Book Of Weird Stuff

Reviewed by Key Keeper Dragonrat703

Author: Kenerelda
Title: The Book Of Weird Stuff
Genre: Random

Cover 5/5

The cover is surreal and attention-grabbing, with manga characters that give off the clear message that this book will be manga-themed. The font for the title is unique and interesting. No problems.

Blurb 2/5

You might want to convey that there are short stories in the book more, since they make up a significant portion of it. The "for people who know me personally part" could be moved elsewhere (perhap more towards the bottom), since readers skimming for books to read should see more of a lead-in that will let them know what the book is about.

Title 4/5

Your book is definitely full of "weird stuff," and has many more things than just stories, so the title was appropriate. 

Plot 7/10

The plot of "Dreams" was engaging, and you did a good job of keeping your characters to a minimum. It starts with a dream, which is fine, but conveying this before hand might be of help. Usually, when dreams happen in stories, if they lead you into thinking they are real people can get annoyed and feel cheated. Just a simple note about the dream, or beginning with present narration and having a flashback into the dream, would suffice.

"Psychopath" had a very heartbreaking plot, although you may want to change the title. The main character concludes that they are a psychopath, but what they were going through was not psychopathy. The condition is very misunderstood, but a psychopath wouldn't feel remorse or start crying because of who they are. This may be because the main character misunderstood psychopathy, but otherwise a little more research might be devoted to this area. The plot did a great job spotlighting the problems teenagers go through and how hurtful it can be to say you "need to go to a psychiatrist" in a joking way. The mental health of people is often ignored, and you made a shocking and very well-written story to help break these barriers. A little more research into mental illnesses will make it perfect.

The plot of "Coma" was interestingly done. You did a good job of withholding information while keeping it engaging, and the reveal of what truly happened at the end took me by surprise. Your topic is extremely controversial and the way you portray the relationship is unrealistic and if taken seriously might send miced or dangerous message, but it clearly was only meant to be taken lightly. For a fictional story, it is very good, and I have no qualms about plot structure.

The plot of "Candy Love" was very good and followed a more logical structure. I didn't find anything to fix in it. It was a very nice story.

The plot of "Demon Pact" was very intense and sad. Usually you might want to prolong her path to corruption, but since it's a short story it works as it is now. You might want to solidify exactly what was going on with the experiments and what her family did. I understood the basics of it, but was still a bit confused, and because of that I couldn't really understand why she wanted so many people to die. Otherwise, it's very creative and makes for a very good demon story.

The plot of "Midnight Playground" was definitely my favorite. The progression of going to detention to the roller coaster was a bit odd. You might want to make the main character more shocked or confused, because it is not a normal detention. I loved the surreal aspects of it, and it's complexity. Very, very well done.

Character development 10/15

In "Dreams," you did a good job of conveying the main character's despair and sadness. The character development and motivations were very clear. No problems.

In "Psychopath," the character's development was the plot, so naturally you did very well in this respect. It wasn't exactly clear what was happening to the character, and more research into mental illness could be used, but their deterioration into a breakdown was heartbreaking and extremely well-written. Good job.

The characters in "Coma" were well-done, but as the topic is so controversial I would recommend doing more research into it, since their relationship and motivations were unrealistic for their relationship. The anguish of the main character is very well conveyed, and overall you did a good job.

"Candy Love" had good characters, with clear motivations. I like the idea of not solidifying exactly what Nova and June's relationship is. Good job all around.

In "Demon Pact," you did an incredible job of conveying her hatred for the people that experimented on her. A bit more insight into her past may help round her out and convey more how she became corrupt enough to sell her soul to a demon, as her behavior was so extreme I believe she needs more fleshing out.

"Midnight Playground" was more focused on what was happening than the characters, unlike most of your stories. Nevertheless, the personality of the main character is conveyed well through the narration, and you did a splendid job. 

Spelling and Grammar 7/10

The grammar in "Dreams" was good. The phrase and metaphor of the friendship in "Dreams" crumbling was repeated a bit too often, and it began to lose its power. Only using it once suffices to convey the main character's feelings and leaves it with much more power.

Your grammar in "Psychopath" was mostly good, but when the dialogue with the parents started it began to have messed up punctuation. Try looking back through it to clean it up.

Your grammar in "Coma" was perfect.

Your grammar in "Candy Love" was good, but I would put a time skip barrier in between the day Nova and June are walking and the time skip to the weeks afterward, as I was confused for a moment afterwards. You also use the "#" symbol in dialogue. I don't think most people would be confused by its meaning, but you might want to convert that symbol into word form for the sake of dialogue conventions. You also didn't capitalize Nova's name once, so a quick run through should clear up your small msitakes.

The grammar in "Demon Pact" was fairly good, but "pistachio" wasn't capitalized several times. A quick run-through should clear this up.

"Midnight Playground" had only a few small grammar mistakes which can easily be cleaned up.

Overall /10

Overall, the stories were unique and engaging. You did a good job of writing about a wide variety of subjects, although they all had similar themes, which is great for a short story collection. A clean-up of grammar and perhaps deeper research and character development will make these stories great!

Other comments: The "Psychopath" story was all the way at the end for some reason, and "Midnight Playground" came after higher numbered stories.  It might be less confusing to readers if the numbers go in the correct order.