Carte Reviews (Closed)

KAT: Dance of Light and Shahdows

Reviewed by Key-keeper KAT CaliKat000

Author: JohanValentine
Title: Dance of Light and Shadows
Genre: Fantasy

Cover: 5/5
I like the font and positioning of the Title on the cover and the model for it. He's one odd my favorite characters from Narnia!

Blurb: 5/5
Your blurb is very well written. It's organized and has a very professional look to it all.

Title: 5/5
I think your title  is 'Perfect'! It fits your story and it looks great on your cover. Never change it XD It's very fantasy like which I like, yet I don't like fantasy much, but yours was really good! 

Plot: 8/10
Everything so descriptive and detailed - does you give thought into each chapter. I don't normally see that quality in Wattpad books. 

You have a great attention getter! Your introduction was amazing, it drew me in. You write action so well! And you really develop the senses in your work. I could imagine the voices of the characters and imagine what they look like as well.

One thing to work on though is that, yes, detail is important, but don't let the detail get in the way of the plot. You sometimes give a while section of detail and the plot is stuck until a new scene. Make sure the plot is always pushing forward. 

Character Development: 10/15
You have a magical way of using words to to create the relations between the characters and the readers. I think you should add in more emotion within the characters personality - or just in general. This will help with the connection between the reader and characters. The readers will be more attached and have more of a shock reaction if you decide to kill them off. 

Spelling and Grammar: 5/10
The major thing that bothered me was that you use emphasis marks ( ' ' ) instead of quotation marks    ( " " ) when surrounding dialogue. I was confused at first but then I realized what you were doing. 

Emphasis marks are supposed to mark words that are suppose to stand out the same way italics are used. While quotation marks only surround dialogue of others or your own words. This is the most critical issue that I found with in your story.

You switch tenses a lot which is a bit confusing to the readers at hand. I suggest you proofread for any grammatical errors. That way the sentence fluency and flow of the story will be great just like your plot.

You use a bold text instead of italics which can be hard for some readers to understand. Italics are used to emphasize words (like I stated above) or create a reflection like a flashback or internal thoughts. Bold text is rarely ever used, unless it is a header, subheader, or authors note.

Overall: 7/10
I loved how creative your story was.
A few pointers for you: 

-Use quotations to surround dialogue instead of emphasis marks.

-proofread your work for grammatical errors and switched tenses.

-Push the plot and develop the characters let's with more emotions.

Other Comments:
I love that you had lots of media! I loved the song for the prologue! Most Wattpaders don't add in music media, just pictures