Not Just An Experiment

--Chapter Eighty-Five--

Kaira's POV

After a good night's rest, I feel so much better. I am definitely not feeling super great, but at least I have some strength back.

I slowly, very slowly, sit up on the couch and look around. Mom is asleep on the rocking chair nearby, and I smile. The house is just as I remember it, grey painted walls, navy blue curtains, and the comforting smell. The smell that says I'm really home.

And oh how I have missed it.

My mom and sister must still be asleep so I go through the house, searching for Zane. I want to speak with him; I have so much to tell him. But after a thorough look, well as thorough as I can be in this state, I give up and sit down at the kitchen table.

As if my stomach suddenly remembers it's still alive, hunger pains gnaw on it and I clutch it gingerly. I raid the kitchen cabinets, pulling out some cereal, a banana, and a jug of milk. Everything is exactly where I remember it.

After eating everything I grabbed faster than I probably should have, I head to the front door. I have to find Zane and now that I have eaten I feel even better.

Pulling open the door, I glance at my mom to make sure I didn't wake her. Somehow, I don't think she would appreciate me up and about so soon. And I know I'll feel it later, but this can't wait.

I scan the treeline from my front step, hoping to find a clue to where Zane went. Sighing, I reach back to tug on my hair. Only, my hands are greeted with nothing. No hair. And the stinging realization hits me again. My hair, they cut it. Those evil men cut it.

I drop to my knees, ignoring the pain that it causes me, and stare at the ground. After everything that has happened to me, how am I even alive?

Without even realizing it, tears start streaming down my cheeks freely. I start to wipe them away, but they just keep coming. I remain silent, staring at the ground, taking in everything around me. The pain, the emotions, the hurt, everything.

It hurts and hurts, but in a way, it's a good hurt. The hurt helps to keep me from thinking on the really hard stuff. Like Zane. Or my father.

I know I'm selfish, but I can't help it. I want Zane here with me. I want to feel his lips against mine again. I want him to hold me and make me feel safe. I know I'm a coward, but I feel like after everything, I deserve to let things go and not be so brave.

In the labs I was always holding up, but now that everything's in the past, I have nothing to keep me going strong.

If only Zane was with me...