Breaking Boundaries

Chapter 34 - I Will Not Break

The black room. Room number 14. A room for psychotic criminals. I know it because I recognize this. I read about it. The number represents how many days, months, or years one would spend here. It could be 14 days, 14 months, or 14 years. It could be longer as long as the number remained 14. But where did I stand in this? I'm not a criminal nor am I psychotic yet I'm here because I belong to one. I was a human couple days ago, learning to live a real life, now I'm reduced to nothing but an animal locked away with a number stamped into me. This isn't new. I lived this before by a loved one. Only this time...it hurts a lot worst than what my mother did.

What my mother did was to protect me in her own cruel ways. What this is...is revenge. It's out of pure rage. For the life of me I cannot escape this and the knowledge tears my bruised heart apart. When all my senses return to me one by one, I stand and take in my surrounding. The walls and floors are concrete. There are no windows here, no furniture, and not even a bathroom. Everything is open—open to run around in circles when one became delusional, and psychotic. I look to my right. There is a small, spring mattress that is torn in the middle and filled with open holes all around. Dark spots of dried up liquid greets me and when I inch closer, I smell it. Urine. I cover my mouth and step back. The walls are damp around me. When I slide my finger down it, I immediately pull back. Moisture. For people who have absolutely no means of water, this is their only comfort. Run a tongue down the walls and your tongue will be replenished with the smallest amount of whatever liquid that this is.

With a broken spirit and heart, I allow myself to slide down the damp wall, bring my knees up to my chest, and sob. What did my life come to? In a single day, everything was stripped away from me. Slowly, but surely, I knew what I would become. I wouldn't last a single day but I wasn't given enough time to mourn the knowledge I received from a single diary. I'll become what Klaus wants me to become. Broken.

"Glorious, isn't it?" A voice says, knocking me out of my trance. I hadn't realized the metal door I was thrown through had opened for someone to come in. I look at him through my glossy eyes. He walks in closer to me until he kneels and our eyes meet. It hurts so goddamn bad that he doesn't see my tears. He doesn't see the pain and guilt in my eyes. He doesn't see my innocence, no. In fact, he looks straight through me, ignoring everything else in between. There is not a single ounce of love left in those eyes for me. He sees me as nothing as but a criminal's upbringing.

It's so much clear now to why I'm here. And that knowledge quickly turns my sadness into anger. And anger becomes a fiery fury crawling into me like icy spiders. Traitorous tears roll down my cheeks.

"A tit for a tat isn't going to bring your sister to justice," I speak, my heart pouring out piece by piece. Klaus tightens his jaw at the mention of his sister before he regains his posture. Where did my handsome, too good to be true, man go? This isn't him. This is a—what do I call him? A monster? Or a ghost from my past?

"You're a sacrifice," he says, coldly, striking an invisible cord of thorns and rough edges at me.

"I'm a lot stronger than you think I am."

"In fourteen days, you will see just how wrong you are."

"And after fourteen days?"

"The fun begins." Something sparks in his eyes. Anger? Sadness? Guilt? Lust? I can't tell. I don't know. I will never know anything anymore. Anger molds back into saddens like a flipped switch. I'm juggling all my emotions into two hands and don't know which right emotion to catch first to abide by.

"Don't do this to me. Don't break me." I whisper. His jaw tightens. Instead of answering me, he turns to leave.

"You don't know the whole truth!" I yell, reaching out to him. He grabs my throat before I could even get any closer, and pins me back against the wall. I gasp. He doesn't squeeze enough to cut my oxygen off but squeezes enough to prove a point.

"I know enough to cause you so much pain, you wouldn't last past the fourteenth day," he hisses. My eyes widen.

"You don't mean that," I rasp. He squeezes harder, enough to blur my vision with tears.

"And why is that?" He challenges. I wrap my fingers around his wrist.

"Because deep down there...you still love me." My voice is weak but it's strong enough for him to react instantly. It's just not what I expected.

"I wouldn't mistaken my feelings for you as Love. It was always about to getting you into my bed." His words cut me deep and I flinch, my throat constricting. He doesn't mean it, I know he doesn't. But when I try to find the pretense, the lie he so-called mastered—I couldn't find any. His eyes spoke only the truth this time. He truly hated me. He might as well squeeze harder and end me because I had no strength left in me to fight this.

"Don't do this." I'm tethered on the chain between the broken and unbroken. Like a tug of war, I'm pulled but scared the balance will slip from me. With all my strength, I'm holding on to the unbroken part of me. But I'm afraid I'll slip.

"I told you, Maya. The day I catch the you, it's over." My lips part in disbelief. The floor catches my tears into its womb.

"Your sister won't forgive you for this," I choke.

"She's dead," He remarks, looking at me with so much disgust, I almost wail. He turns to walk away again and I let him slip only a few feet away.

"Why do this to me? Why not just kill me?" He stops in mid step. The tension thickens in the air and my fear bubbles in my throat. I can't escape this no matter how hard I try.

"I have a lot to take from you before you're granted that." He leaves me behind, his steps faltering away. Once the door shuts behind him, I succumb to the floor. He sees me as the monster rather than believing that a far worse, bigger one is out there. Silently, I beg him to come back. But he doesn't return. I huddle to the floor and curl up into a ball, dismissing the spring mattress next to me.

I'm not a criminal. I'm not a criminal's daughter. I'm me. I'm someone who will endure everything Klaus hands me just for the sake of his sister. An innocent life for another one. Tit for a tat. I want to stay strong. I have to stay strong. But for how long will my strength remain?

I'm in the black room, locked away for fourteen days. This is to strip away my sanity and cause me to loose my mind. But I will not succumb. I will fight.

I will fight for everything I'm not strong enough to face.

I will not break.