Imperfect

Chapter 22 - What To Do?

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Danielle's P.O.V

I woke up tangled in Luke's bed, thinking he would be there but soon remembered he was coming home today from the hospital. I only got about two or three hours of sleep last night. I couldn't allow myself to sleep from all the thoughts floating around my mind. It felt like I woke up in a new world, having to start all over again. But, before I could start anything "new" with Luke I'd have to know exactly where his head was at. I heard a knock at the door.

"Danielle?" Liz called as she opened the door slowly. I rolled over and let a groan escape from my lips.

"Would you like something to eat?" I shook my head from side to side. I wasn't able to eat, I couldn't. "You're awfully thin..."

"I get that a lot," I said, not showing emotion from being so used to hearing that.  "Is Luke back from the hospital yet?" I asked.

"Actually, he just got back. Look at the time, hun." Liz pointed to the clock. Was it 1:15PM already? I must have literally laid here all that time doing absolutely nothing and thinking about nonsense. I hid my face into the pillow.

"I'll be up in a minute, mom," I mumbled. Mom? Did I just call Liz 'Mom'? "Oh my God, I'm so sorry..." I held my face in my hands, embarrassed. Liz giggled and told me it was alright.

"Do ya miss your mum?" She slightly frowned, knowing she had died along with my dad from what Luke had told her. I nodded my head with my hands still covering my face. "Alright, well Luke is in the living room if you want to see him." Liz shut the door. I took a deep breath and sat up. It's time to make a "new friend", I sighed to myself. I dragged myself out of bed and made my way to the living room where Luke sat on the couch with the guys surrounding him, laughing talking loudly; like they used to. Please tell me he remembers them, I said to myself. I entered the room and awkwardly sat on the couch in front of them. As soon as the guys saw me sit down they all stopped and stared. All the laughing and talking suddenly stopped. I shrugged my shoulders and narrowed my dark circled orbs, asking what was wrong with my body language. The boys looked at each other and didn't seem as happy as they were. Ashton sat down beside and put his arm around me, making me cringe; expecting him to kiss me or something but instead, he seemed upset. He held my hands in his and pierced his sight into mine.

"Luke remembers us!" He smiled, ear to ear.

"What?! Really? That's amazing!" I jumped off the couch to give him a kiss, but Ash got a hold of my arm and pulled me back down, looking rather upset once again. "But, he doesn't remember you..." My heart shattered at his words. I glanced up at Luke, catching him staring back me with a blank face; showing absolute no emotion whatsoever. My orbs landed on Ashton scanning my face. He knew I was upset and knew I was SICK of being upset.

"We're gonna go for a walk." Ashton let the guys know.

"What? We are?" I asked as we stood up and gave me his hand. He nodded. I let out an unpleasant groan and took his hand. Luke's bright blue orbs never left me until I left the room with Ashton.

Ashton wouldn't let go of my hand as we walked around the neighborhood and into the city. I didn't feel like letting go, not wanting to cause anything.

"So, um how have you been?" Asked Ashton, trying to break the awkward silence between us. I looked up at him. He had dark circles around his eyes as well. Ash seemed worn out. My dull orbs skimmed his body and found more than enough bracelets up his left arm. My eyes widened and couldn't control myself to look away. He did it...again. I deeply sighed.

Ashton's P.O.V

I towered over Danielle, catching her strong gaze on what seemed like my wrist. I immediately placed my arm behind me and continued to walk forward, hoping neither of us suspected anything but I knew Danielle wasn't stupid. Without saying a word Danielle stopped us in our path and took my left arm in her hands. She knew. I felt my face flush red as she gently removed my pathetic bracelets. A feeling of guilt washed over me as she revealed my new scars. Danielle's brown orbs were so dark I could see my own reflection, feeling disgusted with myself. Her long eyelashes fluttered up at me.

"Couldn't take it?" She shook her head, disappointed. I didn't respond and stood there like an idiot. "I understand..." She covered my scars with her hand.

"Look..." Danielle cupped my jaw and couldn't look anywhere else but her face. "I'm not gonna tell you to stop self-harming because you can't. I'm telling you that every time you cut, you're cutting someone you love." I took a step back, needing a second to let her words sink in.

"It hurts when you cut, doesn't it?" I nodded, but I only did it so I could feel something. I was sick of feeling numb. "I bet it hurts the boys twice as much..." Danielle sat us down on the curb. I stared off into space and completely zoned out, thinking about what she said. Danielle is such a broken and crushed girl that has been through a hell lot more than I have and she still manages to stay grounded. I ran my fingers through my messy, wavy hair and huffed, looking over at Danielle; siting next to me as she kicked a rock around with her small feet and traced the designs of the street with her long, skinny fingers.

"Dani..." My voice came out quieter than I expected. She slowly turned her face towards me with tears coming down her face as she formed a frown, catching me by surprise. "What's wrong-"

"I JUST WANT LUKE!" Danielle threw the rock she was fidgeting with at the metal garbage can, causing the sound to echo through the streets. She brought her knees up to her face and screeched into her lap. I squeezed my eyes shut as her cries and screams cut through the wind. I could feel the pain coming off her has she continued to cry, scream and kick soda cans around the street. "WHY DOES HE SEEM TO REMEMBER EVERYONE ELSE BUT ME?!" Danielle picked up the rock she threw and shattered it against a brick wall. She dropped to her knees.

"My life sucks. I hate it. I fucking hate it." She mumbled as uncontrollable tears slid down her face.

"Danielle, come here." I patted my lap, allowing her to sit. She deeply sighed. Her face was red and worn out from sobbing so hard.

"Shh..." I held her close and embraced her lightly.

"I would do anything to wake up with amnesia instead of Luke..." Danielle cleared her tears with the back of her hand. "...So, I could forget about all that happened to me." She glanced off into the distance. I cupped Danielle's face as her teary, reflective orbs met my green ones. Her plump, pink, soft lips caught my attention. There's nothing I wanted more than to kiss her better. I was still madly, but foolishly in love with her. I leaned my forehead into hers as my eyes flickered from her lips to her. I realized Danielle wasn't going to push away. Finally, my lips pressed against hers. I expected Danielle to lean back or to face the other way in disgust, but instead she kissed me back. Her lips interlocked with mine. Danielle's tears slipped into the kiss, tasting salt. Her eyes fluttered open as she leaned back, holding her face in her hands and shook her head in what seemed like disappointment and guilt.