Father Of My Child |H.S|

17

25thFeb

[Kyla]

I have officially past the 6 month mark of pregnancy. Only 3 months left with this little one inside of me.

The time has flown by, yet it feels like it has been years with her inside of me. Both Harry and I are desperate to meet our little angel, and can not wait for her to arrive.

It's safe to say that as soon as she does come and bless our lives, she is going to be spoiled rotten.

•

I haven't seen Harry in the past few weeks due to his packed schedule, and if I'm honest it is stressing me out.

Not having Harry around is definitely making my life a lot harder. I get tired much quicker than I normally would and seem to end up needing to go to the toilet every 20 minutes.

Daily activities seem like a chore lately, my body cannot keep up with my mind set and there is really nothing like it.

It's not his fault though. We both have jobs that we need to attend/do and he can't just put his career to the side because I want him around.

I'm pretty sure it's just all my hormones flying about the place, but I have been desperately craving Harry to be around me lately. With that being said, I'm sure most people do.

I'm just so used to him being around that I practically forgot what it's like being on my own (not including Ciara).

Everything seems to be so hard without him, everything that I used to be able to do fine on my own is now a struggle without him.

I feel selfish for feeling this way as he does call and text me regularly. Practically every second he has free, he spends talking to me so I shouldn't feel as if he isn't here.

Although he's not here, not really anyway. He's so busy working on his album that he's never around, and that scares me. What if he isn't
around when our daughter arrives? What would I do then? What would we do then?

•

To make matters worse, I have work in half an hour. I'm still not even ready.

Luckily for me, my manager is very understanding at the fact that I have a child growing inside of me that I need to carry around everywhere.

He doesn't really mind if I'm late as he knows that my life is a struggle at the moment, since I am new to the whole parenting thing and have no idea what I'm doing.

Him and his wife had a child together last year so he knows the struggles of getting up, ready and getting the day started. As well as all of the other needs throughout the day.

I'm certain that everyone at my work isn't very happy with how I am being treated. I get to go to the toilet whenever I need, as well as eat and drink whenever I feel I should due to being pregnant.

They're not really happy with this as they find it unfair that they all have to stick to certain time gaps for them to use the restroom and have their lunch.

I don't think they've ever tried having a human being lying there on your full bladder... holding it in is certainly not an option.

To make the situation better, I also now get days off whenever I feel needed. Total pregnancy perk. My hours have also been shortened so I can turn up for a few hour, then go home and do the rest of my work from home.

I have been given the option to just work at home completely, and not waste my time dragging myself into the work building as it is a complete waste of effort and he doesn't want to add to my stress.

Honestly though, I'd rather spend a few hours outside my apartment then spend my entire life there.

I'm pretty sure, if I spent any more hours in there I would lose my mind and be sent away. No joke.

•

On a more pleasant note, it is definitely safe to say that the 'is she or isn't she?' Question is officially out of the window.

My bump is officially a bump, and a defined one I might add. I've never seen anything like it! I have spent countless hours in the mirror admiring my large stomach and how far it has come.

There is officially no way of hiding the fact that I am pregnant, and that scares me.

I know that I've just had a fit about how much I miss Harry, but part of me is happy that he isn't around.

This is because when he's here, I don't want to go out or do anything just in case we are spotted.

If a photograph is taken of Harry and I together, the whole world is going to be having a fit claiming that Harry is having a child.

Yes, I know that he is having a child. But I'm not ready for the world to know. I don't want anyone to know until she is with us.

I don't want to have the fear of not making it to hospital on time because we can't get there due to screaming fans and paparazzi.

I want to welcome our daughter peacefully, and have a few normal hours with her before the world finds out.

Not only this but as soon as the word gets out that Harry is having a child, there is going to be all sorts of comments that I don't want to see.

I know for a fact that they will just build, pile and tower onto my stress and that isn't healthy for our daughter.

I want us to get through the pregnancy with no complications, no worries other than if the amount of clothes she has is enough.

The world will know as soon as we are ready for the world to know.

It's only right if Harry and I get to tell the world about our daughter, and not by some page online.

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I'm sorry this is so crappy. I have an exam tomorrow that I haven't studied for one bit... wish me luck.

I would also like to say good luck to anyone that is taking there GCSE's right now as well as to everyone who has any other exams.

I'm lucky enough to only have 3 math exams but I'm so bad at maths it's tragic, I honestly have no idea what I'm doing.

If anyone is any good at it then feel free to @ me and help ;)

Also, sorry for being inactive. I've been so stressed over these exams I couldn't pull myself together to write a damn thing.

&&&&& please please please vote!! It motivates me to write & I really need the motivation right now!! X