Father Of My Child |H.S|

18

5thMar

[Kyla]

My ankles are so swollen it's practically impossible for me to move anywhere, even if it is just to the toilet.

Luckily, this is the perfect excuse to stay at home and not go to work. Giving me the opportunity to waste the day away.

For the first time ever in my life, I actually feel bad for my mum. She has probably gone through everything I am going through and worse when she was pregnant with me.

I just want to tell her 'thanks for carrying me' as I now know how hard it actually is to have a child growing inside of you.

The more I think, the more I begin to miss her (and my dad). I know I shouldn't. I have never been close to my parents, or any of my family for that matter.

I almost feel bad for not keeping as much contact with them as I should've, but they have also not bothered reaching out to me so I shouldn't feel as guilty as I do.

A part of me wants to reach out to them, to tell them how much I miss them. I do miss them, we may not have been close but they are still my parents.

I feel guilty for keeping them out of the loop of what's going on in my life. They are very judgmental, so I know they won't be too impressed that I am pregnant, but I'm hoping that they would be happy for me.

I know that if I let them in on what's happening in my life, I couldn't possibly tell them about Harry.

If I did they would just place a nasty opinion on him and look at him as if he is anything other than the caring person he is.

Not only this, but how would I know they wouldn't tell? How would I know that there won't be a news article about everything?

After what feels like years of contemplating whether or not I should reach out to my parents, I decide to go ahead and send a text.

Me:
hey, mum. I was wondering if you and dad are busy at all this week and if not if we could catch up? X

Mum:
Your father and I would love to see you. We are free today if you would like to come over? Love you xo - mum

I giggled to myself at how she signs her texts off, reminding me of Harry. It's almost as if they don't know their contact ID comes up.

I put my phone down and begin to get ready. I decided that I should put in more effort than what I usually do as I know they are going to be judging me enough as it is, hopefully if I make an effort they wouldn't point out how much i look like a mess lately.

After a few minutes, I finish getting dressed into leggings and a blouse, with a white vest top under so you don't see my bare body.

I then begin to apply makeup to my face, putting more on than usual, surprised at how well it actually turned out. Why can't I look this good always?

I then head to the bathroom and begin to brush my teeth, scrubbing them harder than I should.  I then pull out my hair brush and begin brushing my hair.

Luckily for me, I have naturally straight hair so I don't need to straighten them. I was grateful my hair would always look as if I straightened it, without me actually doing so.