Almost, But Not Quite (COMPLETED)

Chapter 54

#ABNQ54 Chapter 54

When I saw my ex approaching, I did the first thing any sane woman would do—I ran. I didn't even look back! Basta ang alam ko lang, kailangan kong makalayo doon! I didn't want to talk to him—not in front of his girlfriend!

Good thing that I was carrying my bag kaya dumiretso na ako sa sasakyan ko. Na-start ko na iyong sasakyan ko nang may biglang kumatok sa bintana ko! Seriously! Balak yata akong patayin sa gulat ng mga tao dito!

"San ka pupunta?" Matt asked.

"Reception," I lied. I was planning to go home, of course! Natapos ko naman iyong pinaka-ceremony! That was already too much for me! Alam ko naman na alam nila na hindi kami okay ni Psalm, kaya bakit ba pinipilit nila? If Psalm's already okay with seeing me, then good for him.

But that wasn't the case for me.

I didn't want to see him.

It reminded me of a lot of things that I'd rather forget.

Matt nodded. "San 'yung reception?"

I gritted my teeth. He knew I was lying. "I wanna go home," I honestly said. I looked into his eyes, desperate for him to feel how this was all too much for me... "Please."

"Joey, we're your friends. You can't avoid us forever."

Hindi ko alam kung ano iyong isasagot ko kasi tama naman siya. Kaibigan ko sila... pero mas lamang sa akin iyong takot, iyong kaba. Mas nanaisin ko pa na magtago kaysa makita si Psalm.

"I'd still like to try," I replied, giving a little smile.

Napailing na lang siya sa 'kin. "Just go to the reception, okay? Kung ayaw mong makausap si Psalm, tatabihan na lang kita buong gabi."

Alam ko na wala naman na akong magagawa kaya pumayag na lang ako. Pinalipat ako ni Matt sa passenger seat habang siya naman ang nagdrive. Binuksan ko iyong radyo dahil ayokong mabingi na naman sa katahimikan. Gusto ko na lang matapos iyong araw na 'to.

Maybe I should start looking for a place for my residency. Kasi kapag busy na ulit ako, mawawalan na ulit ako ng oras mag-isip. Kasi ayoko na mag-isip. Ayoko na ulit isipin iyong mga bagay na nangyari dati. Iyong mga bagay na hindi ko naman na mababago.

Nang makarating kami sa hotel kung saan gaganapin iyong reception, mas lalo lang bumigat ang loob ko. I knew that I was a sucky friend because I wasn't present it almost all the big events in their lives—and I hated that... but I just couldn't be in the same room with him. I just couldn't.

"I don't want to be in the same table as him," sabi ko habang naglalakad kami.

"Fine. Lilipat tayo," Matt said.

"Or I can just go home, you know? Kakausapin ko na lang si Steele. 'Di naman magagalit 'yun."

"How'd you know? You weren't there for years, Joey. You don't know how any of us feels," sabi niya kaya natigilan ako. "You don't know how clueless we were habang nakikita namin si Psalm na miserable. Na gusto namin siyang tulungan pero ayaw niyang sabihin kung paano."

Bahagyang umawang ang bibig ko.

Gusto kong humingi ng tawad, pero hindi ko alam kung saan magsisimula. Kasi hindi ko rin alam kung saan nagsimula. Kung bakit umabot kami sa ganito.

"I'm sorry," I offered.

"We don't need your apology or your explanation. Kung ayaw mong sabihin, fine. But stop ghosting on us. It's bad enough that Kitty's not around, 'wag ka naman gumaya."