Time; Yoonmin

Chapter Four

His words send chills down my spine. Not the first time he's said them but for some reason...this time they feel more serious. I wonder if he reads my mind sometimes. If he knows how desperate I am to leave this place.
I stutter in a breath as he leaves the room. I'm not sure how much longer I can live here like this, with this constant fear. I'm dying inside a little more everyday. Soon there will be nothing here left of me.

     It's snowing when we prepare to leave for his concert dance recital. I used to love snow. Once upon a time I would have danced in it. I would have raised my head and spun around without a care in the world. Hoseok spinning and laughing by my side, carefree.
     Now I raise the hood of my fancy coat and burrow deeper inside. Wanting to escape the cold. Hoseok is already waiting in the car as I slip inside. I stare out of the window lost in thought as we cross the city. Lights twinkling and glittering in the white snow. So pretty.
     My fingers brush the window, desperate to have that feeling back. That zest for life I once felt. I don't want to be numb.
     "Don't embarrass me tonight." He sighs, pulling into the parking lot.
     I fidget with my coat hem. "I won't."
     He stares at me. "You look nice tonight." He sounds begrudging. "At least you look appropriate by my side."
     "Thank you." It's the best compliment I'll receive, I know that. It's a lot coming from him.
      He pulls me into a kiss. Reluctantly I kiss him back. "Let's go."
       The concert hall is just as exquisite as I'd imagined. I'd always dreamed of dancing here. Of course, after we married, Hoseok forced me to stop dancing because he didn't like others looking at me. So I stopped.
     I let go of my dream before it ever had a chance to begin and shut myself out of the world. I used to imagine what it'd be like to dance before a huge crowd like this. Hoseok was supposed to be my choreographer, he was supposed to work with me to achieve both of our dreams as a team.
       Now I'm stuck left behind while he lives out his, completely forgetting me in his haste.

     "Wow, your partner is gorgeous. You are one lucky man, Jung."
     I fake a smile and blush, ducking my head against his shoulder at the compliments.
      He chuckles and wraps an arm around me. "Don't I know it. He's just perfect." He laughs.
     I'm tired. My feet hurt and my clothes are chafing but I know not to dare complain. Being around all these famous dancers and performers are making me depressed. I should be here, among them, living out my dreams. I excuse myself to the restroom and, once alone, let the tears fall.
      I don't want to think about all I've had to give up. Don't want to think about all the lost time I've wasted being in pain and fear.
      Washing my face, I stare at my reflection and hate what I see. Blank. My expression is blank. Was there ever anything else in my eyes? Sighing, I wash my hands and step out into the empty hall.
     I go in search of my husband, my gaze falling on all the dance studios around me. I stop at the last one. Seeing the man I saw at the grocery store. Dancing so gracefully and pure.
     Movement in the corner draws my attention to his partner, watching him with a smile. Supporting his dreams. Min Yoongi. Why is that name so familiar? I can't stop running it over my mind.
     "Ready?"
     I jerk my gaze behind me to see Hoseok walking briskly towards me. I nod, taking one last look at the happy lover's before trailing behind him.
     "Wait here. I'll be right back." He says as we reach the front doors. I sit and wait as told.
     And wait.
     And wait.
     And wait.
    Finally, everyone else has cleared out so I stand and begin looking for him. All the rooms are now empty and it feels deserted. I walk outside, the doors locking behind me to find the parking lot now empty. He left me. In a snow storm and with no money or means to get home.
     My gaze raises to the dark sky, to the swirling shards of icy water drenching the earth. My hands raise to catch the flakes. A small smile etching it's way onto my face.
     I huddle deeper into my expensive and thankfully warm coat and begin walking. The ground is slick but I let myself enjoy it. Slowly, I begin allowing myself to spin, my smile growing as the freedom of the night thrums through me.
      My childhood vibrancy slowly restored as the snow drenches my hair and clothes. I can barely feel the cold as I dance alone in the empty parking lot of the concert hall. For the first time in so long...happy.
     I run and spin along the sidewalk, my body somehow remembering the graceful positions it once held so effortlessly. I dance and laugh and feel something inside myself break free.
I'm free.
     I'm so lost in this newfound joy that I fail to see the bright lights skidding my way. The loud screech of failing breaks hitting my ears as I turn towards the speeding car heading right for me.
     It all happens in slow motion. My body still limp and graceful as the car plows into my body and sends me flying over the railing overlooking the frozen river below.
     The car crashes above me and also dives headlights first into the black water. My lungs are immediately filled with water and it feels like hundreds of needles are stabbing throughout my entire body. It's too shocking to hurt.
     As I sink down farther and farther, one sight sticks with me before everything goes black. The familiar sight of blonde hair chasing after me towards the bottom of the river, a pale hand reaching out but I'm too far gone to reach back.
      Then...nothing. It all stops.
      It's over. Finally...all I've ever wanted....it's over. No more pain. No more hate. No more suffering. Thank you, Min Yoongi.
     For ending my pain.

Ooh, it begins.