Time; Yoonmin

Chapter Thirty One

I arrive at rehearsal with a smile I'm well used to wearing. One I practiced daily before...and I dance. I dance and I dance and I dance until my body is nearing collapsing and I can hardly breathe.
It's late and everyone is already gone. I'm alone and frankly I prefer it that way. I guess I was always better off alone. I should have just stuck to my original plan and not gotten caught up in Yoongi's games.
     I just don't understand the point of all this? His motive to claim me when he already clearly had Jonghyung. Why? Why did he do all this. I have so many questions but really don't feel up to seeing him again anytime soon to find my answers.
      Of course I have to go back sometime. We are married. God, he wanted us to have a child! Why bring an innocent child into this web of lies? For what reason would he do this to me?
Fuck. I guess Jonghyung is right about one thing. I really don't know Yoongi at all.

"What are you doing?"
  I glance over at the street to see Hoseok squinting at me from his car. I'm in the process of going to a bar. Any bar, really, so long as I don't have to go home and deal with life yet.
     I smile widely. "Walking. What are you doing?"
      He furrows his brow, studying me from head to toe. "You okay? Get in, I'll take you wherever. It's not safe on the street at 2 am."
      Shrugging, I get in. "Take me to the nearest bar you know!" I yell. So I'm a little tipsy already. Whatever.
      He looks at me for a long moment before driving on. I admitfully zone out as he drives, just staring out the window in silence. God this gives me flashbacks. This time I'm not afraid of him, though.
      He shakes my shoulder and I jump, realizing that he's parked the car and is waiting for me. I climb out and look around. "This isn't a bar."
       He chuckles. "Nothing gets by you, Park." He ruffles my hair and grabs my hand, helping me up the stairs to what I'm assuming is his apartment. Maybe I'm a little tipsier than I thought. He practically has to carry me up the stairs to the door.
      Grunting, he holds me up and unlocks it while I just stare at him. Why does things have to be like this? It's like...each time I find happiness the universe snatches it from me. Like...maybe I just chose the wrong guys in the wrong dimensions.
      Hoseok was a dick in my previous life, but here...I was better off with him, maybe? Yoongi was obviously a great guy with a husband and child in the other place...here? I don't even know. Maybe I should have swapped them. Chosen Yoongi originally then Hoseok here. I loved them both anyway.
     It's not that simple and I know that but the thought makes me laugh. If only I could swap them out. It'd be perfect. Like guy shopping!
      I laugh harder, ignoring his strange looks my way.
     

     "God, how much did you drink?" He groans as he holds my hair back as I spill my guts into the toilet.
       I moan in misery and throw up again. I rest my head against the cool porcelain and gasp. "I d-don't remember."
      He helps me wipe off and brush my teeth. Awkwardly making me sit on the edge of the tub as he pulls my shirt off. He leaves for a few seconds and returns with a large oversized grey shirt.
      I put it on and follow him into the bedroom. "You're welcome to sleep here. I'll sleep on the couch."
      I frown, taking his hand as he starts to walk off. "Wait. W-will you stay with me? Please." I mumble, embarrassed.
      He looks back. "You want to talk about it..."
      I shrug, quickly removing my pants before climbing into bed. Luckily the shirt is long enough to cover most of my boxers anyway.
      I get settled as he grabs some clothes and changes in the bathroom before coming back and climbing into bed beside me. We both lay on our back staring at the ceiling. I want to say it's awkward and uncomfortable but it's not. It's nice silence.
      "Did you talk to him?" He asks after a long time and I've almost drifted off to sleep.
      I groan. "No. I don't want to. I was right, though. He's been c-cheating on me. For a long time." It's hard to say it out loud.
      He sighs. "Do you remember back in high school...he told you that we dated?"
       My eyes snap open. I forgot about that. "Oh yeah. I forgot."
       He nods, turning on his side to look at my face. I do the same. "We were really close and I really liked him. He was nice and didn't have many friends. You know he's not as outgoing as me. Well...it was around the time I started making new friends that he met Jonghyung." He whispers.
      My eyes widen. So he did know him before me. If he liked and/or loved Jonghyung than why would he leave him for me? I don't get it. "And?"
       He sighs. "I'll admit that I neglected Yoongi a lot around that time and I felt guilty. I'm sure he told you about him finding me cheating on him in the gym or something?"
      I nod, curious where this is going.
    "Well I did but I did it out of anger. I may not have been spending enough time with him but I still loved him—at least I thought I did. I did it because I found him cheating on me with Jonghyung. He cheated first. He never knew I found out. I know that doesn't make it right but anger can cloud the best of judgments. It really hurt. Maybe we were never meant to be a thing and that's fine but..." he trails off.
      Without thinking, I lean forward and crush my lips to his. His eyes widen in surprise as I pull back, blushing. "Sorry."
       He smiles. "Don't be." He pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly. "Look—I don't know why he's done what he's done but maybe he has a good explanation. I think that you should talk to him. I never did. I just hurt him back and cut him off from my life, fighting and bickering. That kind of life gets tiring." He sighs.
      I stare at his chest, toying with the hem of his shirt. "I'm surprised you're taking his side." Grumbling.
       He snorts. "I'm not. I honestly don't like him at all and want to beat him up for hurting you but...he's your husband, Jimin. You've spent most of your life with him. You have to talk to him. It's better to get it over with, right? You can always come stay here. You're welcome with me anytime." He whispers, kissing my hair.
       I close my eyes and bask in the comfort. I think about the intimacy Yoongi and I shared this morning...did he do that out of guilt? He felt bad for cheating and neglecting me so he forced himself to make love to me. Or, worse yet...what if he did it to find out if he even still wants me? Like a test?
      One lone tear drips down my cheek and splashes on Hosoek's shirt as I cling to him. I do need to talk to Yoongi but I can't right now. I need to feel wanted and comforted and cared for. Tonight I'm going to stay here, locked in Hoseok's safe arms.
      Never thought I'd ever end up here again but my life just seems to be full of fucked up surprises. This surprise friendship, at least, is pleasant and welcome.