Time; Yoonmin

Chapter Twenty Four

     "Hey, did you hear?"
     I glance up from my iced latte to see one of my fellow dance partners looking at me with wide eyes, a grim expression on his face.
      "No, what is it?" I ask, sitting my drink down. Right now we're on break from practicing a ten hour day practice. I'm still wincing from my anniversary present to Yoongi.
      He shakes his head sadly. "The theater. It's a good thing you didn't go, Min. It caught fire. About fifty people were killed."
      My hands begin to shake as I take in his words. Why had Miya saved me from that? Yoongi and I were supposed to be there. "Oh my god."
      He glances around before leaning towards me. "You remember that famous choreographer? Jung Hoseok, I think? He was there. Managed to survive. He's in the hospital."
      I can't breathe. "W-what?"
      He continues to give me details but all I can think about is talking to Hoseok. I have this sick feeling in my gut.
      I end our chat early and cut out from the rest of practice, driving straight to the hospital. I'm taken aback when I enter his room. He looks like he's on death's door. Pale and half his face wrapped with bloody cloth.
       He looks at me as I enter, a small pained filled smile spreading across half his face. "Jimin. What are you doing here?"
      I don't speak, I can't. I sit down in the chair beside his bed and try to gather my thoughts, a million questions running through my mind that I know he can never answer.
      "H-how are you feeling?" I start off.
      He scoffs. "I'm alive. I suppose that has to count for something, right?"
      I nod. "I guess."
      He stares off in the distance for a long time. "Have you ever thought..."
      "Hm?"
      He clears his throat and begins again. "Have you ever considered...if we would have become a thing? Weird but sometimes it randomly crosses my mind."
      I hold back a bitter smile. I do think about it. Much more frequently than I'd like. "No." I mumble. "I'm fully happy and committed to Yoongi."
       He chuckles. "I'd assume after being together so long. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to start anything or give you doubts. It just...almost dying...I've had a lot of time to think about my life, ya know? For some reason...I can't stop feeling like I've severely wronged you somehow. I can't figure it out so for whatever it's worth, I'm really sorry Jimin. For anything I've done to upset and cause you pain." I've never seen his eyes so sincere and it brings tears to my own.
      My shoulders slump. "It's okay. I forgive you." I whisper back.
      He nods slightly, satisfied. "When I go...I don't want to leave any regretful feelings, ya know? I want it all to be put  out in the open. Nothing holding me back from moving on." He smiles.
      I grasp his hand. "You're not going to die."
      He laughs. "Not now but one day. We all die, Jimin. It's just a natural part of life."
      "Nothing wrong with wanting a little more time." I whisper mostly to myself.
      He stares at me a long time. "Time...time is relative, Jiminie. Time matters differently to everyone. I don't want time to define me and how I live my life." He looks out the window, considering.
       I smile at his profile. The still beautiful untouched side of his face. "I've missed you, Hobi."
       His head snaps back around and he winks. "I'm still here."
       I squeeze his hand. "Yeah. You are."

     I return home, my chat with Hoseok bringing several important things to mind. His thoughts on leaving no regrets rerunning in my head. I don't want that either.
      I walk slowly around the home I've made so perfectly with Yoongi, my perfect and always caring husband. He's always been considerate towards me even when he was an asshole in high school.
      I don't want to leave him behind without letting him know just how important to me he is. How much he's changed me and made my life better.
     I want to leave some of myself behind for him. I know that I still have time but...it goes by so quickly. I smile down at my wedding ring. It's never left my finger since he slid it on so long ago.
      Sometimes I wonder if maybe this is how my life should have turned out with Hoseok. He's not the same here as he was there, in that life. What changed? I truly don't understand how he can be so different here. It's like this life has made him into my perfect version of him. How I feel he should have been.
     If he would have been like this...maybe I wouldn't have died like I did. Was he apologizing for his part in ending my life? Technically he didn't kill me, not really. He left me, yes, but...it was...was Yoongi that hit me. Yoongi and his partner at that time. 
      My body goes cold as I think that over. I forgot about that. Will Yoongi hit me again? What will be the cause of it? It's perplexing and scary. My soulmate and love...the one I'd die for...will be the one to end my life. Oh the irony. How could I forget that fact?
     And Jonghyung? He was there then...will he be there now? I'm so confused and unsure. It just doesn't make any sense.