Baby Sugg

Caspar lee what have you started ?

*i am aware cheater was spelt wrong last chapter, it was 3:45 in the morning and I had lost the plot and didn't know what was going through my head when I I typed cheeter but anyway....*

I looked at her for a final time, her eyes closed and her face frowning from sadness. I closed my eyes and leaned in, placing my lips on her pink plump ones.

Dee's pov

'I guess I am just stupid and fat and worthless, no one could love me because I wasn't good enough or skinny enough or pretty...' I thought to myself until I felt warm lips leaning on mine gently kissing me. I opened my eyes and quickly pulled my head away.
"Oh my god" I said as I pushed him away gently. "Oh my god" I said questioning slightly.
"Archie is going to kill me" I panicked standing up and pacing back and forth. "Joe is going to kill me."
"Dee" Caspar said
"No Joe is going to kill you" I said as I quickly turned to him. " and me, and I just cheated in Archie. I just cried for god sake because what he did to me but I just did the same to him, his dad is dying Caspar! Why would you do that."
"Can you just stop it" he said, placing his hands on my shoulders, "this is my fault not yours. You are defending someone who is cheating on you. You need to leave him."
"You. You can't tell me what to do" I replied point at him.
"Are you seriously saying you are going to stay with him and just let him use you like he is clearly doing to other girls. Are you seriously that juvenile?" He said sounding angry and disappointed. I couldn't say anything a sudden outburst was very unlike me. I never argue.
"Dee?" He asked, I looked up at him feeling guilty.
"No of course not"
"Good." He smiled, "I am really sorry for getting angry and saying what I did but I don't want to see you get hurt, you are a beautiful, smart, caring girl, but you are still so young. And I care about you so much. I promise it would never be like this, you know if you talked to me about any problems" he said pulling me into a hug. I could feel tears rolling down my cheek. " if he doesn't realise how great you are then fuck him, you need to be with someone better, someone who can look after you and love you fully, thought I don't think anyone is actually good enough for you" he said realising me from the hug he quickly ran over to the window and opened it. "Fuck him" he shouted into the dark sky. "Your turn" he said turning around to me.
I went to the other opening part of the window a little further down from Caspar. "Fuck him" Caspar shouted encouraging me to do the same. "Just do it, let out all your emotions." He said.
" I am sorry I am not good at stuff like this" I said leaning back in and closing the window. I walked back over to my bed and sat in it and pulled the duvet up to my head. " I think I am just gonna go to bed" I said rolling over to my side.
"Ok then um night" Caspar said as he closed his window, I then heard his feet softly walk over, and then I felt his lips gently kiss my forehead. "I am here if you need me" he said before turning off the light and closing the door.

I had a sleepless night, my head spinning with questions, questions about Archie, questions about Caspar, questions about the kiss. I couldn't get Archie cheating out of my head, a horrible feeling that just made me feel sick. Maybe I just wasn't good enough or because we hadn't done it yet and I knew he wanted to. Maybe I am too fat, too ugly, too me. Not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not skinny enough. Not skinny enough. Not skinny enough. Not skinny enough. Not skinny enough....