Baby Sugg

11th November

3:37 am what the hell, I put down my phone and lifted up my duvet. I had been woken up to a loud banging on my door. Tiredly I opened the door, between getting out of bed and heading to the door I had thrown on an oversized jumper.

Archie and I had got over the fight, although I had been avoiding us both coming back to my flat, I was running every day and getting FaceTimes from Alfie daily, Mainly at breakfast and dinner to check I was eating, I felt bad lying to him especially as he was only trying to help, but I didn't need help. I had seen Joe twice and I had seen Jack once out on a run he was on his way to the apple store to upload a video in time. He came back to mine instead as it was closer. He stayed for a bit just talking about YouTube when I was starting a channel if I would film with him and about his uni parties even tho he didn't go to uni.

"Hewlllo" the knocker shouted with a slur in their voice. I considered not opening the door. "Itssss ranndddyyyyyyyeeee" They shouted, it was Jack then. I opened the door and he fell in.
"Jack what are you doing here?" I asked pulling him up from the floor.
"Jack mate" Caspar said lifting him up and walking him over to the sofa.
"Welcome to my hotel then I guess" I sighed closing he door behind me.
"We came to talk" Caspar said putting Jack on the sofa, "Well I did but he was with me."
"We were partying" Jack shouted like a toddler.
"On a Wednesday night?" I laughed tiredly
"It's about Archie" Caspar said walking us away from Jack a bit.
"We saw him in the club making out with a fit as fuck blonde chick" Jack shouted
"Wow put it nicely great one jack."
"Who is Archie again" Jack asked sitting up.
"My boyfriend" I said shocked and on the verge of tears,
"What you are still with him?" Caspar hissed.
"What a dick" Jack shouted punching a pillow "I will beat him up, you are so much more fit Dee. You have a much nicer body a nicer bum, nicer eyes and you are far prettier." He said standing up and hugging me.
"Why didn't you end it?" Caspar said angrily. Jack returned to his seat in the sofa falling on to it. I just stayed silent looking down. "Why are you doing his, are you really that stupid. Seriously Dee get a grip" he said before storming out slamming the door behind him.
"Jack out" Jack said before flopping down so he was lying in the sofa.
"You can't leave him here" I said but deep down I knew he was gone. Gone? Being gone sounds great. One day I will get away, I will be gone.

I closed the door behind me, I had just got back from an evening run after uni. "Jack?" I asked taking off my shoes.
"In here" he shouted from the kitchen.
"What you doing?" I asked,
"Well I was trying to make cookies as a thank you but... yeah" he said glumly looking at the cookies he tipped them on to a plate and put the oven tray back in the oven.
"I'm sure they are great" I said looking at them uncertainly, jack licked one up and put it to my mouth, I took a small bite and so did Jack to another one. "They are nice, well done jack" I said covering my mouth. Jack went to the bin and spat it out and so did I after.
"You don't have to be nice they tasted like shit." He laughed putting all of them in the bin.
"They weren't that bad" I said but inside I was cringing at the taste. It truly was awful.

"Why was Caspar annoyed at you last night" he asked sitting on the sofa next to me.
"What do you remember from last night?"
"Going to the club, being there for about an hour then I don't know what happened after that, I just remember Caspar shouting as you"
"It really wasn't anything" I said sitting at my desk and revising.
"You put in a lot of effort" Jack said sitting next to my chair in the floor.
"Well I have exams soon and I need to graduate and pass"
"But you don't need to, you don't need to graduate for youtube" he said, "you do want to be a YouTuber don't you?"
"Well... ummm.... I don't know"
"I took me a while to decide what I wanted to do in life, Conor was famous but after a few years I knew I couldn't just tell follow him around. I was a personal trainer, a tv presenter until I found youtube"

"I think in life you just travel, you travel to find your destination, your perfect destination is yourself." Jack smiled, "you, you are clearly lost."
"I want to be found." I said certainly,
"But not yet" Jack said, "enjoy the traveling part, the views are breathtaking, the highs are unbelievable and the lows, well the lows are shit but you can get over them. You seem pretty strong"