Baby Sugg

Food

I sat on the plastic garden chairs that came with my apartment in my balcony, listen to music and wrapped in a blanket. I couldn't help but let a few tears slip. I could only play 'Cheater' and lyrics they stung, like they were being burnt into me. I just cannot believe that Archie wouldn't tell me, I would have he told me and then... would I have forgiven him? Would we have broken? Would he have dumped me? How would I have survived being dumped? I met Archie within a week of coming to London back in May, we had been together 7 months and he was just the best boyfriend, caring, loving and loyal... my head began to think to all the times I would lose him on a night out, or he would go to clubs that I wasn't old enough for and not come home to his flat mates. All the times her smelled like perfume. All the times he would just be Uncontactable from the evening till the next morning and supposedly be asleep but still be tired and have thick dark bags under his eyes. How could I be so stupid. Juvenile. Gullible. But I guess it wasn't his fault, it was mine because I made him wait so long and he was older and I was just too juvenile fat and ugly.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knocking at my door, reluctantly I stood up maybe it was Archie, I guess I had to, I made him wait this long I guess I had to, I had to. I opened the door, " Archie I am so sorry...." I started before looking up and realising it was Alfie. He looked at me with raised eyebrows.
"Sorry for what..?" He asked stepping in carrying multiple Waitrose bags.
"Nothing" I said reluctantly moving as he carried the heavy bags in. "Alfie it's late I not really supposed to have visitors this late"
"I am just dropping theses off"
"Oh Alfie you didn't have to, I can't except" I said trying to stop him but he was already unloading food in to the fridge. I just gave up and returned to my seat outside. A few minutes later Alfie sat in the seat opposite,
"Have you had dinner?" He asked, I nodded, "with Joe?" He asked I nodded again. Alfie pulled out his phone and a few seconds later it was ringing,
"Alfie you don't need to call him"

A- hello mate how are you ?
J- good thanks and yourself deyes?
A-yeah yeah good, how did filming go earlier
J- yeah it was good I am glad Dee was in it, I am hoping she is getting more confident in front of the camera.
A- yeah yeah, I saw she was in your video
J- yeah it took a bit of persuading but I think and hope she enjoyed it. I am slightly concerned about some comments on Caspars video.
A- I haven't seen it yet.
J- it was are you smarter than a fifth grader. I am just worried about comments from guys. I think her first public Instagram post will be me saying the 'dms are closed boys'
A- ahahah mate she wouldn't be happy with you.
Joe chuckled.
A- anyway I was just seeing if Dee had dinner with you.
J- No why?
A- me and Zoe wanted to take her out but she isn't picking up her phone.
J- I thought you took her out for lunch
A- yeah I think Zoe just worried that she isn't eating enough or that she is living alone i don't know.
J- I mean she did lose a lot of weight, I don't really know much about girls but she is probably just happy with her self image since...
Joe gulped and coughed
J- the incident,
A- that's what I thought
J- nothing to worry about though she's happy. She's healthy. Mikey put that down, get out of the sweetie cupboard and please just get out of my house.
A- ahahahah bro I will let you get back to babysitting Mikey
J- alrighty bro see you soon
A- Bye

Alfie looked at me with raised eyebrows, "if you were just Ill why would you lie about it" he asked an edge to his voice, I just looked down at my blanket over my crossed legs. "I am not trying to be mean right now, and you not that, I am just trying to help. Before this turns into a disorder." He reaches out and grabbed my hand. "Just tell me the truth, are you not eating" 
"I do eat" I replied still looking down.
"What was the last meal you had?" He asked calmly
"Lunch with you and Zoe"
"The last meal you ate"
"Breakfast at Brighton." I replied reluctantly trying to hold back tears, "please don't get mad"
"I'm not mad, Saturday to Monday ok?" He replied his voice slightly husky in the cold air. "Will you eat now?" He asked, "actually it's not a questions" he stood up and walked to the kitchen. "What do you want?" He asked rummaging in the fridge. "Bacon sandwich? Eggs in toast? Pasta? Mac and cheese? Cheesy beans on toast? Spaghetti hoops? Ready meals? Lasagne? Carbonara? Spaghetti Bologna's? A roast?"
"You bought a ready made roast? Who does that's" I said trying to lighten the mood. He looked at my face coming close,
"You need protein,"  he said going to the cupboard and grabbing stuff. "Go sit at the table."

15 minutes later I had a huge plate of scrambled eggs on toast and on the side was a couple of hard boiled eggs. "If you eat this now, and continue to eat breakfast and three meals a day, we can keep this between us, deal?"

After Alfie had stopped eating and I had eaten almost half of mine I stopped as well, Alfie looked at my plate. "Just eat a hard boiled egg and then you can leave the table"
"Thanks dad" I replied rolling my eyes jokingly.