The choices we make [Completed]

Chapter 3 - Behind the mask

Chapter 3 - Behind the mask

Olena's concentration on the excel sheet she was working on was broken by the buzz of the intercom.

"Yes?" She said sharply. She hated being interrupted, especially when she's working on numbers.

"Ma'am you have a delivery at the front desk," said the receptionist.

"Could you receive it for me please? I'll get it later on my way out. Thanks."

"Uh, I'll ask the delivery guy if that's allowed. They're flowers," she said sheepishly.

Olena frowned. Flowers? Why would her husband send flowers all of a sudden?

She checked the date and mentally face slapped herself.

It was their wedding anniversary.

"Never mind, Cathy. I'll receive them myself now."

She quickly went to the front desk and signed for the flowers, a dozen roses.

As she walked back to her desk, she was conscious of the envious looks her colleagues threw her way.

She sighed.

She knew how everyone thinks she has the ideal life, how they want to be like her.

If they only knew. Even she did not want to be like her.

Everyday it was as if she was enacting her part in a play, always pretending to be fulfilled, showing off the image of an ideal wife, mother, woman.

But she has no one to blame but herself. She got herself into this situation in the first place.

When she married her husband Robert five years ago, she had given up the belief of a one true love. She thought that was the fantasy of youth, and at 28, she had seen and lived enough to know otherwise.

So she aimed for comfort and security, both things her husband was more than willing to provide. Robert was her best friend, the only one who could understand her mood swings, the rock that kept her grounded.

But there was no real passion between them, something they realized after the birth of their son.

If she were honest with herself, she knew it long before then.

Neither she nor her husband were virgins on their wedding night. They've had sex a few times before, and the first time was what actually made them cross over from long time friends to lovers. They thought it meant they were compatible.

Olena shook her head at the memory. How naive of them.

Arriving at her desk, she placed the flowers on her side table and opened her computer files again.

For the second time that morning, she was interrupted, this time with the shrill ringing of her mobile phone.

Grumbling in frustration, she looked at the caller ID and saw it was her husband's.

"Hi honey," she greeted. "Thank you for the flowers. Sorry I forgot to greet you this morning, my head's full of deadlines this week."

She heard him laugh softly on the other side. "I know. Your work comes before me," he joked. "But we have to have dinner later."

"Okay, but how about Levi?" she asked. Levi was their 5yr old son who goes to kindergarten

"He's with his grandpa. I asked my dad to pick him up from school," her husband replied.

"Okay then. I'll meet you at the restaurant at 7?" Olena confirmed.

"Or I can pick you up then let's just drive back to your office after dinner to get your car," Robert suggested.

"That's better so I won't need to look for parking. Pick me up at 6 then."

After ending the call, Olena's thoughts drifted again to her unusual marriage.

In a truth or dare game, if she were asked to describe her married life, there's one answer that immediately comes to mind: boring.

It's always just steady, no peaks or valleys. They never even had a major fight in the 5 years they've lived under the same roof. Sure there were arguments from time to time, but all resolved within the hour like mature adults.

There has never been any explosion or world shattering experience in bed either, but they chalked it up to their familiarity with each other. They were friends for more than 7 years after all.

Excuses, she knew that now.

Even Robert's proposal was lackluster. While having dinner to celebrate their second anniversary, he casually asked her, "I think it's time we got married. How do you feel about it?"

Her reply was equally boring.

"Okay."

And that was it. They started the wedding preparations the same month and Robert's parents were more than happy to prepare everything for them.

Robert was their only child and they had been eagerly waiting for him to get married. At 35, their son has kept them waiting for quite some time so they released all their pent up excitement in the wedding preparations.

Olena did not have to do anything aside from going to the fitting of her wedding dress and the food tasting for the reception.

When they found out she was pregnant 2 weeks before the wedding, everybody was happy. If there was anything she was sure of, it was that she wanted to have a child.

But then it was as if both she and Robert had given up any pretense of feeling any desire for each other after that.

At first their reason was they were scared of hurting the baby. And then there was the recovery after giving birth. But then even one year later they still didn't feel like it, and they just stopped making excuses at all.

And now it's been five years of no contact aside from the occasional hug and peck on the cheek.

Any outsider would look at them and see an ideal urban family. But the truth was they were just two friends playing house.

Olena sighed. She was resigned to this fate that she chose for herself. She can live without passion, she would tell herself everyday.

After all, she is not someone who is not loved. She and Robert did love each other, it was just a different kind of love. Plus they respected and admired each other, something most couples can't claim to have.

She was determined to try and be happy, if not for herself, at least for her son Levi.