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I was sprawled out in the middle of my bed, H

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.

I was sprawled out in the middle of my bed, H.E.R blasting on shuffle while I flipped through photos and videos of us on my phone. These were the times when things were fine. Fine meaning content and by content, I meant as good as it was going to get but it was better than nothing. A tear shedding down the side of my face as I watch a video of us at a club one night. He was barely paying attention but times seemed so much simpler compared to now. When I was his number one and came before all those other hoes. When he would spoil me with materialistic items and fuck me good all night. That all changed in a matter of weeks. Suddenly I was disposable as if our relationship meant nothing to him. Right now I was a wreck without him because I grew so accustomed to making him my life, my main priority and that all was snatched away from me. I put him before myself on so many different occasions that now I was driving myself insane without him. I had no clue what to do with myself other than reminiscing about the times we shared.

I was vexed. I was hurt. I missed him so much that my heart ached every second I was away from him. Why the fuck did he have to do me so dirty? What have I ever done to deserve this? I put up with his shit day in and day out. Comforted him through the nightmares and stood by him even when he took his unpredictable anger out on me. I allowed him to use me as his vessel for when he needed support because I loved him that much. To know that he has never loved me, not even in the slightest bit after our last conversation only made me feel even more worthless than I already felt. I wasted so much time and energy on this man and there was nothing that he became my everything and I had no idea how to operate without him.

I sniffle hard as I cry silently in my room. I open up Snapchat to see if he posted anything new recently. I've been stalking his Instagram and Snapchat like a hawk keeping tabs on what he has been doing. He hasn't posted much within the past couple of weeks other than the various pictures of his daughter and maybe a picture of himself here and there. I go through his recent Snapchat story since his Instagram was pretty dry. I roll my eyes seeing more pictures of his offspring, a couple of him flashing his jewelry but when I get to the new few videos and pictures he recently posted within the last hour my heart almost falls out my chest.

The first video shows him recording a female with red hair who is walking in front of him. It's only a short clip of her walking with a caption that read "Perfect view". I quickly skip over to the next story which was a picture of their hands intertwined. My anger started to rise knowing this had to be his baby mama. The next picture was a selfie of him laying between her legs. I knew the more I flipped through this story the angrier I would become but I couldn't help it. Seeing him happy with someone else had me so down and out that I barely knew how to function. I went days without eating, sometimes skipping a shower because I was too depressed to get out of bed. This may have been making it worse but I was dying to know who this mystery bitch that decided to come in and flip my world upside down.

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