𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙾𝙽𝚂 ║Izuku ✘ Reader

11. | Safe somewhere

It's like seeing for the first time, or smelling flowers for the first time in the beautiful spring. Hearing the water flow and laughter—the one full of joy.
It all felt like a dream, a never ending one.

Until his forest green hues opens, he realizes he still lives in that colorless world he calls home.
He wants to close his eyes forever and leave all problems and promises behind.

Izuku recalls the events played out last night. He doesn't want to remember, he wants to forget and disappear for eternity. If he only can erase himself from everyone's memory, he would have done it.
No questions asked.

It was almost like a trigger for him—seeing Y/n with Shouto. He feels so selfish and disgusting. It just reminded him of reality and the truth behind his little time of having fun.
It's not going to last...

Why would Y/n be friends with him if she has someone like Shouto? She must feel pity for the curly haired boy, that's all it can be.

He's only dead weight, holding her back. All the times her eyes blinked with determination when she talked about being a hero—just like he did before. He can't, he doesn't want to be reminded anymore of how worthless he is. He wants the girl to be happy, but she already has someone who can fulfill that void. Shouto is waiting for her, they are becoming heroes together. All he can do is watch. Why waist her time? Why waist everyone's time?

He wants to be forgotten rather than remembered of being so...useless.
Why couldn't the world make it a little easier to disappear?

As much as Izuku wants to, he still finds the motivation to get out of bed with tear stained eyes. "Looks like I cried again" He brings his hand to his face, "I'm such a crybaby" The boy mutters quietly.

Today, the world looks so bland and tasteless. Is it because it's raining again and the sun can't smile to him anymore?

With his sleeves pulled up, he eyes notices the freshly cut wounds. From last night. He's not proud, but one way it has to come out.

Izuku's grunts in pain when he starts putting on bandages, the cuts sting so badly. 'Stop it you idiot, it's your choice after all—deal with it'
He scolds himself for being so weak.

He starts remembering how fun it had been last week with Y/n and how she eased his pain. Unwillingly he gets flashbacks of her smile and all the times she's called him Broccoli. That nickname held so much compassion.

His teeth grit together, he wants to forget because now...it feels like he's letting her down as well. An inner war has presented itself inside him.

'Please stop...stop thinking like that! It's not going to last, she lives in a different world. Her family loves her, she has Shouto by her side and she's going to become a hero. She doesn't need you to ruin things for her, besides once this is over. She'll forget that you ever existed'

Izuku manages to put on a big smile. Some may say that it was the most painful smile anyone could muster, but to him it's good enough. At least to lie to his mother and tell her everything's okay.
Save her from the burden he causes by being alive.

"Oh gosh" Izuku falls down to his knees, whimpering out, "I want to die...I really want to do it this time"

He couldn't comprehend his feelings, it's starting to become unbearable to keep it all inside.

'Uhm—Are you alright?'

Y/n....she asked him that question. Why did he lie?

Whatever, it's not like it would have made a difference. Everyone's better off without him. Now Y/n wouldn't have to feel a burden like she should take care of him.