My Love, My Drug, My Release

Paul's Perspective

So, there's smut in this, with the usual ** around it. It's written a bit differently and more explicitly because it's from Paul's perspective and this is how he perceives it, so, yeah, you've been warned.

This night had been draining, and not in a way I'd anticipated. I thought if I could throw myself into my music, keep my child and my beautiful wife with me, then nothing Lo did could possibly bother me. And yet, her and Keith's canoodling got under my skin like nothing else. My blood was still hot as I changed out of the clothes I wore that day. It was too hot to wear anything but my briefs, even the hair that hung over the back of my neck was making me sweat.

I laid down next to Linda, who was still awake, on her back with her eyes closed and a sleepy smile on her face. 

"Can I ask you a something?" I whispered.

"Yes, of course."

"Why don't you care about Keith and Lo, about how he looks at her, how he touches her? She's still just a child."

She exhaled deeply, the air hissing out of her nose. "Do you remember how I treated Jackson, in those months leading up to when he left? I thought being strict and cold was what mothers were supposed to do, that it would make him respect me, but it didn't. It ruined our relationship, probably forever. And, the one time I really had to hold my ground with Lorraine... well, you remember how that turned out."

I did, and the memory of her in that hospital bed made my chest ache.

"I'm not going to destroy a perfectly natural, innocent relationship between her and Keith just for the sake of 'playing the mom'."

We remained silent for the next few minutes as I turned her words over in my mind. It made sense, he not wanting to alienate another child, and we already had a litmus test for how infringing on Lo's freedom would affect her. But Keith and Lo's relationship was anything but natural and innocent. Or was it? Was it unnatural for someone of Keith's age to be sexually attracted to a fifteen-year-old? Was it wrong to find someone so many years your junior desireable?

Shaking the thoughts out of my head, I rolled over to kiss Linda, needing to fuck and let off some steam, only to find she was asleep for real, head lolled to one side. For a moment, I debated waking her up. But, in the end, that seemed too cruel. And yet, I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep without some kind of physical release.

After a few minutes of contemplation, I got up and made my way to Lo's room. It was an idiotic thing to do. I should've just stayed in bed and jacked off, but I didn't. 

I opened the door to her room without knocking first, and saw she was lying in bed, eyes closed. When I entered, she opened her eyes, but it was clear she hadn't been sleeping yet. 

"Paul?" she asked drowsily, obviously tired.

"Sorry, Lo, I didn't mean to bother you, I just needed something." Now that I was here, it was almost embarrassing to have to say it. "You asked me to do something last night, and I need you to return the favor, just once, and I'll never bother you again." 

"What?"

"Linda's asleep, and I'm fucking dying. Please just help me."

She blinked tiredly, absent-mindedly running her tongue over her lower lip, the tiny gesture making my pants start to tent. "I'm too tired Paul."

I inched closer, touching her hair. **"It'll be quick, just your mouth." As I pulled her head towards my pelvis, I pulled my cock out through my fly. She didn't move on her own, but she didn't pull away either. "Please baby, open your mouth."

After a brief pause, she did what I asked, and I didn't hesitate. The relief was instantaneous, my eyes almost fluttering closed from pleasure. Lo didn't really know what she was doing, but I didn't mind leading. I guided her head back and forth, one hand in her hair, the other under her chin, holding her jaw. When she choked, I eased my grip, like you would give slack to a leash.  It was hard to tell what she was thinking, if she was thinking anything. I wondered if she'd ever done this with Brandon, or if I was the first man she'd gone down on.

After a few minutes, even with my measured thrusts, I could feel I wasn't going to be able to last much longer. In my eagerness to finish, I forgot to ask if Lo was okay with me cumming in her mouth until I'd done it, pushing my cock forward until it touched the back of her throat.

When she tasted the semen, she pulled away, her faced scrunched up in discomfort.** She grabbed the water glass by her bed and spit the cum into it.

"Ugh, gross," she said, running to the bathroom to rinse out her mouth.

I just stood where I had been, feeling lightheaded and also a little guilty. She'd overreacted, but I could've given her a little warning. I decided, in that moment, that I didn't want to be there when she got back, so I slipped out and went back to my room, feeling vaguely like this was all a dream.