My Love, My Drug, My Release

Paul's Perspective

Sorry this chapter took forever to get out, I've been really busy with family stuff, and also my sleep cycle is super off so there are very few hours in the day when I'm awake and aware enough to write/edit. Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy the chapter.

It almost frightened me how quickly Linda forgave me. She went from as boiling mad as I'd ever seen her to kissing me passionately, saying how much she missed me, in a matter of days. Lo did no such thing, keeping me at arm's length, a smart decision considering how much I'd hurt her. Why couldn't Linda be more like Lo?

"Can you get that?" my wife asked, from the couch. She'd sucked me off twice while we watched some police procedural show, and was presently half-asleep.

I stood up, stretching till my shoulders popped, hoping the line would go dead before I picked up, but alas, no such luck. "Hello, Eastman residence."

"Paul?"

My jaw clenched. "What do you want, Keith?"

"Lo stopped by my place high, I'm sending her back to you now."

"High on what?"

"Heroin."

"What the fuck?" I hissed, my right hand balling into a fist. "Why the hell would you give my daughter heroin, what's wrong with you?"

"Open your ears, dickhead, she came to me like this; someone else must've given it to her. And don't play this 'my daughter' game with me, it's repulsive." He took a pause, and I could hear him snarling on the other line. "I'm sending her home in my car, and her brother too."

His words felt like a slap in the face, the sting of icy water on a fresh burn. "Her brother?"

"Yeah, Jackson, older brother, dark hair, about 170, frowns a lot and doesn't talk much."

I hung up without replying, pulse thudding in my ears. "Linda," I said, shaking her out of her slumber. "I need to you to go upstairs."

"What? Why?"

"Please just trust me, I need you to wait in your room for a little while."

At first, she looked as though she wanted to argue, but then only shrugged and ambled away. I wondered if she had any hypotheses about why I wanted the downstairs to myself. Considering my recent behavior, I could've invited some birds over to fool around with, perhaps another one of Lo's friends, but she left me alone anyway. Maybe she was too tired to argue, or she just didn't want to have another fight.  

A key scraping in the lock made my ears perk up like a bloodhound, and I hurried into the foyer to open the door. Jack stood on the front steps, arm around Lo's waist, barely keeping her upright, hunched over, fumbling with her key.

He straightened up, grip tightening on his sister. "Paul," he said stiffly.

"Jackson." I opened the door fully, allowing him into my home. "Sit down, let me take Lo upstairs."

"No," he said. "I'll take her."

The cautious malice in his eyes made me worry Keith told him about me, about Lo and I, but I knew he wouldn't bring her back here if he had the slightest inkling she'd be unsafe. "Alright, but be quiet, Linda's asleep."

I watched Jack trek up the steps, practically dragging his sister as he went, before pouring myself a scotch and water, swirling it twice before downing the entire thing. I refilled my tumbler as his footsteps clunked downstairs, his tired body collapsing into a kitchen chair.

"Here you go," I said, handing him a drink identical to my own. "Happy birthday."

He cocked an eyebrow, probably not expecting me to remember, before accepting it. Now he knew that I knew he was eighteen. Even if I wanted to call the cops to report a missing child, I couldn't; he was no longer a child. "Why are you here?"

"Somebody needed to bring Lo back."

"No, not my house," I said, nostrils flaring at his impudence. "Why are you back in London?"

"Maybe I never left."

"We scoured the city; I know you left."

Jack shrugged, taking a sip of his scotch and flinching, making me perk up happily. As childish as it may sound, I felt pure joy at the sight of him unpleasantly slurping the stiff drink. I'd always suspected he only play-acted at maturity, and, for some reason, this cemented it as truth for me. 

"I got a call from Lo a week or two ago. She sounded distressed, worse than I've ever heard her, so I bought a plane ticket. Simple as that."

"Nothing about this is simple." He didn't respond, taking another drink, avoiding my eyes. "Are you planning on staying here?"

"No, but, then again, I wasn't planning on running into you at all."

"Well, you should."

"Why, because that worked out so well the last time?" He polished off his scotch, coughed, and stood up. "Don't trouble yourself with the grand gestures of hospitality- I have other sleeping arrangements."

I grabbed his arm, blocking him from leaving. He whipped around and I braced myself for a punch that never came. "I'm not making grand gestures, I just think your mother would prefer you stay with us." I waited for him to snap that Linda isn't his mother, but he didn't, not a ripple of disconcertion in his tranquil features.

"Fine, but I still need to pick up my stuff."

We parted without ceremony. I spent ages scrubbing the tumblers clean, pacing around the kitchen, before finally making my way upstairs. I hovered outside the master bedroom door. Linda deserved to know Jack would be staying with us as soon as possible, but I didn't feel like telling her now. The very idea of spending time with her made me itch with discomfort, even though we'd had the most splendid afternoon together. My love for her came and went, as fleeting as the breeze.

After a moment of hesitation, I turned around and entered Lorraine's room, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor, watching her sleep. Her breath seemed shallow, but maybe it was just because of all the blankets Jack piled on top of her.

Keith claimed he didn't give her smack, and, for whatever reason, I believed him. But then where did she get it? How could she have become a junkie without my knowing it? Then again, she'd been secretly communicating with her brother for God knows how long. I had no clue she was pregnant till she got that botched abortion. If John hadn't told me about her mysterious phone call, she'd be living with Brandon in France right now.

Maybe I didn't really know her at all.