My Love, My Drug, My Release

Paul's Perspective

So there's smut in this chapter as well, with the usual ** around it. There have a been a lot of smutty chapters lately; please let me know if it's too many; I don't want it to go overboard. Either way, the next few sections will probably be a bit cleaner, just because it isn't really sustainable writing for every other chapter to have a sex scene, haha. But yeah, please let me know your thoughts! Also, thanks for 6k reads, it means a lot. Can't wait to look back on this book when it's finished and see all the milestones in these dorky author's notes lol. Enjoy!!!

I wasn't angry when I watched them go up. Linda was right; trying to control Lo would only push her away, and that was the last thing I wanted. But when I saw them descend the stairs together, looking so smug, so proud of their actions, I swore I could've broken bones. I wasn't sure whose neck I wanted to snap, but the anger was a drug coursing through my veins. Couldn't she at least have the decency to look a little guilty, a little remorseful?

"Should we go listen to the new album?" Linda whispered in my ear. "Now that everyone's here again?"

Right, this party was about my music, not about my stepdaughter's sex life. But I couldn't enjoy being the center of attention. How had I ever made it as a celebrity? It was all so bloody exhausting. "Everything's set up in the green room," I hollered across the living room. "You all can go down to hear it."

"Aren't you coming?" Linda asked, her hand on my upper arm.

I shrugged. "I've already heard it more times than I care too." Watching people listen to my music was embarrassing at the best of times. Besides, I had other things to attend to. As Lo tried to pass me, I caught her wrist. "You stay behind with me."

She made eye contact with Keith and gave him a 'go-ahead' nod. He looked at me, shrugged, and then followed Anita to the music room.

"What did you want?" Lo asked. "I was hoping to hear your new songs."

"I'll play them for you another time." I opened the fridge, looking around for something to eat before deciding on a strawberry yogurt. I wasn't really that hungry, but I enjoyed making her wait around silently, expectantly. "Do you have any idea- do you have the capacity to understand how disrespectful it is to parade around my house, in front of my guests, dressed like that, acting like a- like a-"

"Like a what, Paul? Why don't you just say it?"

"Like a slut," I spat, turning to the counter to open my yogurt container and find a spoon. I tried to look aloof and callous, but, inside, the words I said split me open, like an ax in the abdomen.  

"I'm just trying to have a good time Paul; I thought you of all people would understand that." 

I turned around, looking her up and down. However angry I was, I couldn't deny what her body did to me, the hyphens of her collarbone, the ropey muscles in her arms she'd developed from hours in cheer practice, the way those denim shorts dug into the meaty flesh of her hips. I wanted to grip them while she bounced on me.

"What're you looking at old man?" she drawled, plucking up a pack of cigarettes off the kitchen table. When she couldn't locate a matchbook, she picked up one of Linda's scented candles to light her fag.

"You know your mother doesn't like it when you smoke inside."

"You know she isn't my mom," Lo snapped. "Why is that so fucking hard for people to understand? She didn't push me out of her vagina, she just married my dad."