My Love, My Drug, My Release

Chapter 39: Meeting the Micks

One of the best things about Gally was that he kept his mouth shut, so the rumors about us stayed limited speculation surrounding our one public kiss. Weeks passed and I went out with him multiple time, never letting on I was also seeing Thema, and Thelma pretended she didn't know about Gally and me when we were together, the situation almost blissful- at least on my end. 

Whenever my boyfriend came to talk to me or hold my hand, my girlfriend would mysteriously disappear, and she shrank into the shadows when Rosemary or the other cheerleaders asked for the dirty details about my relationship. At first, seeing the way I hurt her made my chest ache, but, after time, I developed blinders, only seeing her smiles, winks, lip-bites. Internally, I convinced myself I made her happy, pleased her, and that was enough.

"Tomorrow's the last day of May," Thelma said wistfully as we passed by a flower cart, running her fingers over the bouquets, before pausing, her hand hovering over one in particular. "Holy cow, that means it's also Mother's Day tomorrow!"

I paused, staring at a cluster of roses with a pink sign stuck in the middle reading 'Love You Mom' and my stomach rolled over. "I can't believe I forgot."

"It's not too late to get something."

"No, not that, I never get Linda anything." It sounded cruel when I said it like that, but I knew she didn't mind, not wanting to encroach on our real mother's territory. "If tomorrow's the 31st, that means next week is my brother's birthday."

"How old will he be?"

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I whispered, "Eighteen."

"All grown up."

I couldn't bring myself to respond, walking past the flower cart instead. Thelma followed close behind, slowing down to match my pace, which was little more than a crawl. I was a balloon, the air hissing out of me as I deflated. I needed to get home. I hailed a cab, and Thelma followed without questioning. My brother had been gone for over a year, soon he'd be spending his second birthday in a row away from me, away from home. But was this really home? I tried to escape once, and I'd do it again, if only I had the chance, the motivation.

"Are you feeling okay, Lo?" my girlfriend asked when we got back to my house- Paul's house. "You seem... off-balance."

A shockingly on-the-mark assessment. "I just miss him is all- Jack."

She nodded, not sure of what to do with herself, swaying back and forth, her black peasant skirt a shadowy circle around her. Finally, she reached out, her arms beckoning me, but I shrugged her off. I didn't want emotional connection or warmth, didn't want her compassion and tenderness and love; I wanted someone who doesn't care about my feelings or history, someone I could nuzzle up to for hours, then shake the day away like an Etch-A-Sketch.

As though the heavens heard my prayer, the phone rang, and I walked away from Thelma without ceremony. "Hello," I said, voice heavy.

"Lola? Why do you sound so sad?"

"Anita?" My face lit up; her voice was like a shot in the arm. 

"Of course, do you know any other Italian women?" she said with a laugh. "Are you parents there?"

"No, why do you want to talk to them?"

"Hell no! We're coming to get you."

Thelma chose that moment to pop into the kitchen, hugging herself tightly. "Um, Anita, I have a friend over right now." My girlfriend smiled at me, her blue eyes shimmering happily. "Can she come too?"

"Of course, see you soon!"

"What the hell?" I nearly dropped the phone while I hung it up. "I thought we were going to hang out together."