My Love, My Drug, My Release

Paul's Perspective

"Let's go home and celebrate," Linda said, dragging me along by the lapels of my jacket into the car she'd called from Denny Laine's apartment. "I'm so proud of you, baby."

Inside the car, I kept her at arm's length. "Later," I mumbled, running a hand through my hair. "First, I need to have a chat with Jackson."

"Be careful with him; he's been very good, taking care of Mary for us."

"I will, I promise." Sensing her melancholic mood shift, I leaned in, pressing my lips against her brow. "Is it strange to have him back again? To see him around the house."

She nodded, leaning into my shoulder. "He's a grown man now; I barely know him. I've known him since he was six years old, I raised him for most of his adolescence, I convinced myself I was his mother. He never called me 'Mum', but I told myself it was a habit. And yet he could leave me like I meant nothing him." She paused, folding her legs. "Lorraine won't call me 'Mum', either. Maybe she feels as little affection for me as Jack does."

"That's not true, Lo is nothing like Jackson, she's a good kid, and she loves you." Realizing how that sounded, I added, "And Jack loves you too, he just doesn't know how to show it."

As soon as well pulled around the back of our house, Linda climbed out of the car, unlocking the door, the lust she felt from our conversation with Denny dissipating. All the better, I didn't feel like celebrating the 'good news'. In truth, the last thing I wanted was to go back on the road as a musician. With Linda by my side, I'd never get a groupie in my bed, and, after my patch of alcoholism in Scotland, she wouldn't let me drink more than a few pints after a show. 

Besides, who wanted to see me play with anyone other than the Beatles? What did Thelma call me the night I walked in on her in the shower? Washed up.

While getting a container of vanilla yogurt from the fridge, I heard the sound of thick-soled boots on the stairs and saw Jack appear in the corner of my eye.

"Thank you for looking after Mary," I said as he poured himself a glass of water. "Do you have somewhere to be right now? Or could I talk to you for a few minutes."

He checked his watch with an aloofness that made my teeth clench. "I have a minute."

I sat down, gesturing for him to take the seat opposite me. He sat with his legs apart, slumped back in his chair, so I kicked my shoes up on the table. This punk kid didn't get to be cooler than me, more nonchalant. He deserved to be on edge all the time, perpetually aware of his outsider status. "Why did you come back here in the first place? You never said."

His red-brown brows pinched together with confusion. "Yeah, I did, a few times actually: I missed my sister."

"That's all," I said with a condescending shrug. "You missed her."

"Maybe you don't understand what it's like to love someone so much that it kills you to be apart from them, but I do. Lo is my other half, I was less than three years old when she was born, I've never been without her. Our mother died, our father gave up his parental responsibilities, we've lived all across the world; until I ran away, we were the only constants in each other's lives. So, yes, I missed her."

My upper lip twitched involuntarily, so I stuffed a bite of yogurt into my mouth to shield the gesture, hating the fact that a teenager got to me. "I love plenty of people, and I have a sibling I care for very much as well- my brother- but I don't have anything close to the feelings you have for Lorraine. Maybe your emotions go past the realm of... appropriate brotherly affection."

Jack's eyes went bright as blue flames, wide nostrils flaring. "That's a disgusting insinuation, even for you."

He was right, regret flooding me as soon as the words left my lips. Not because I'd offended the little shit, but because of my obvious projection. I was the only one who had an inappropriate relationship with Lo. If Jack were a touch more perceptive, I'd be fucked.

"When are you planning on going back to Australia? You can't stay here forever, and I don't think you want to."

"No, I don't, and I plan to leave by the end of the summer, but there are things in London I need to wrap up first."

"And how will you handle abandoning your sister a second time?" He didn't respond, his eyes dropping into his cup of water, swirling the remaining liquid around the bottom of the glass. "So you're going to try and get her to come back with her," I deduced. "You don't plan on leaving her behind again."

He sighed. "Yes, that's right."

"Stealing a minor away from her home; that's kidnapping, just so you know."

"Well, no, it won't be kidnapping. If anything, she'll be a runaway."

I dropped my feet to the ground with a slam, making Jack flinch, and leaned across the table to look him dead in the eye. "She's finally happy here. You'll be ruining all that out of selfishness."

Jack snorted, rolling his eyes. "If you think she's satisfied with her present situation, you're delusional. I know my sister, she hates her life here."

"And I know my daughter; she's doing better than ever."

His lips pulled back from his teeth, baring them down to the canines like a snarling Doberman. "She's not your daughter." He stood up abruptly, his chair screeching across the kitchen floor. "Thanks for the chat, but our minute is up. I should get going."

"Sit down."

"Excuse me?"

Standing up to my full height, I folded my arms, staring down the ungrateful git. "Sit the fuck down. We're not done talking." 

Another update in just under two weeks!! It's not as frequent as I wish, but it's better than once a month like I was doing before. Really happy to do another 'Paul's Perspective'; I feel like my writing really flows in these chapters. Hope you all enjoyed reading and sorry if any of you feel this book is taking too long to wrap up, I want to craft a satisfying conclusion to the literally dozens of plot threads I have going on. This is the longest book I've ever attempted, and I don't want to rush these last ten chapters or so. Thank you all for your continued support in the form of reads, votes, and comments, you're the reason this is all possible!!!