My Love, My Drug, My Release

Chapter 33: Forbidden Fruit

I didn't fall asleep until the sun started to peak over the horizon, turning my white curtains a fiery orange. My eyes seemed to only close for a few seconds when Linda came in, shaking me through my blankets.

"Wake up honey, you're leaving for school soon."

She didn't linger, which was good for me, because then she might've noticed I was naked and covered with various bodily fluids. As I climbed out of bed, the main thought in my head was, 'how the hell did I get semen there?' I remembered last night alright, or at least I thought I did. I took acid with Anita and Keith and then we had sex. Then I was in a car and Paul was there. Did I suck his cock? The shower water was effective in scrubbing my body clean, but my mind remained a filthy mess.

Downstairs, my step-parents were fighting, voices level, but tone sharp. "Why on earth would you do that? How the hell are we going to get around?" 

"There were complications; he had to go."

"What's going on?" I asked, getting an apple from the basket of fruit Linda had arranged on the table to photograph.

"Paul fired Robert," Linda explained tartly.

"Then how am I gonna get to school?" I asked, taking a large bite of the red delicious.

They exchanged a look, eyes different and yet scarily similar at the same time. "I'll take you," Paul said finally, snatching the keys off the counter. "Get your coat; we're leaving now."

"My coat?" I asked, befuddled. "It's May."

He turned around, hands on his hips. "Whatever," he said with thinly veiled rage. "Let's go."

I shrugged, grabbing my bags, kissing Linda goodbye on the cheek. She smiled widely, clearly appreciating that I remained kind to her, taking her side in this fight over Paul. 

"Get in," he said when he saw me, climbing into the driver's seat.

I'd never sat in the passenger side of this car, only the backseat; it was very surreal. "Why did you fire Robert?"

"Don't you remember?" he asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Obviously not."

"You got a little frisky with me in the back there, and then we got into a bit of a... lover's quarrel."

I squinted at him, the memories coming back like still images at first, but then they started to shift, the colors moving and swimming. LSD was so much uglier in hindsight. "You- you bashed my head into the window."

"Yeah, I had to come out here in the middle of the night and clean up the blood."

I touched the side of my head; I'd noticed it was sensitive when I showered, but then again, my head ached all over. "You spit in my face. You nearly ripped my hair out of my scalp!"

"Yeah, well you tried to bite my penis off!"

After a moment of glaring, a smile cracked through my tough veneer. Within a few seconds, we were both cracking up. "Hey, you can't laugh, you're driving. Eyes on the road!" He smirked, biting his lip, but slowly his smile slipped from his face, leaving a steely gaze behind. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Is this the part where you make some speech about how this can never happen again?" he asked humorlessly. "Or is it my turn?"

I didn't respond, because he was right. What else could be said except that this was wrong and couldn't continue? The reasons went on and on: Linda, Gally, our age difference, the toxicity of all our interactions. But the words were cheap now, because we tossed them aside whenever we felt like it. Whenever he got a little horny or I felt a little lonely, it would happen again. Why go through the whole song and dance again if it wouldn't change a thing?

"Sorry," I whispered, unable to think of anything better to say. "Sorry I keep making you go through this."

He pulled over in front of my school, sinking low in his seat, even though the windows were thoroughly tinted. "Don't apologize," he said, taking my hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss. "I'd go through heel a thousand times over for you, Lorraine." 

I moved my hand from his mouth to the side of his face, lacing my fingers through his hair, kissing him softly. When he tried to deepen it, I pulled away. "I have to leave."

"I know, you always have to leave me. One day you won't." The intensity of his gaze terrified me, the green leeching from his hazel eyes until they were almost black. Maybe it was just the lighting. 

"See you tonight," I said, before running across campus so I wouldn't be late for class.

Three minutes into first block, I could tell something was wrong. I caught people's eyes lingering on me. Some had the decency to look away, but many, mostly boys, sneered, before turning back to the blackboard. The last time I got looks like this, I was new in school, my mom shacked up with a Beatle. Mr. Kincaid didn't seem to be in on it, meaning it was something only the students knew about.

After class, I took my time in the hall, trying to find Rosemary or Thelma, someone to shed a little light on what the heck was going on.

"Lo, Lo!" I felt a hand on my arm and turned around to see a girl from cheer, though not one I was particularly hoping for.

"Hi, Cammie, what's up?"

"What's up with me, what's up with you?" she said, her smile so bright and white, I felt like I needed sunglasses. Her teeth were so perfect, it kept you from noticing she was quite plain-looking. "People are saying that you got picked up by a mysterious man yesterday. Some guys are even saying he's your pimp! I don't believe them, of course, but-"

"My pimp?!" I shrieked, making a few heads turn. "Who's saying that?"

"Well, everyone really, as I said, I don't believe it, and neither does anyone with half a brain, but some kid saw you get into a limo-"

"Davey, Davey Greenhouse, that motherfucker, I'll gut him like the pig he is." When I saw Cammie's face, I smiled demurely before hurrying off to find and strangle that Southend son of a bitch.

I slammed to a stop, two strong arms catching me before I fell. "Woah there," a voice said, like it was calming a horse. I looked up and saw Gally's familiar crooked jaw. "Where are you running off to, your pimp?" He grinned jovially, reaching up to adjust my hair.

"You don't believe them?"

"Idiots like Davey and Oscar? Not a chance." He leaned in close, his breath smelled like toothpaste and sour candy, maybe Zotz, and whispered, "I know you're my girl."

"You're damn right," I said. Then, in front of all the people watching, and there were a lot, I put both hands on either side of his face, pulling him down to kiss me. I kept my tongue in my mouth, didn't come up for air, so it probably wasn't a very pleasant kiss, but hopefully it'd be an effective one, squelch all the rumors about me getting picked up by some guy in a limo with a lot of rings. 

I pulled away when some boys started wolf-whistling, a few more clapping. Gally turned away, blushing the color of ripe mango; his fair skin truly showed his every emotion. I bit my lip, trying my best to look coy, but the façade slipped away as soon as I made eyes with someone in the far back of the crowd- it was Thelma, her face unreadable, standing there staring back at me.