Chapter 51

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On the next morning things were awkward.

I wasn't quite sure how to behave. It felt wrong to just act like nothing happened, but it also seemed weird to avoid him and act like something did happen.

Because technically nothing happened.

But that was the problem.

Something should have happened.

I basically rejected Michael the day before, even though I wanted to kiss him, I really did.

I just couldn't.

When we ate breakfast, the mood was tensed. Nothing more than a mumbled 'morning' left Michael's lips and he avoided my gaze.

Judging on the look the others gave us I knew two things:

First of all, they knew that we went on a date.

Second of all, they had no idea what happened – or what didn't happen.

"So... um" Luke cleared his throat, "What's planned for today?"

"I think Adley wants to look around the city, right?" Calum asked looking at me.

I nodded. "Uh... yeah, I'd like that." Aiden nodded next to me in agreement.

We continued eating in silence, I noticed how Calum, Luke, Ashton and Aiden kept exchanging confused looks with each other.

I was pretty sure that my brother was most confused out of all of them. He didn't know the others as well as I did, they were practically strangers to him. And he definitely didn't know that I liked Michael, even though I should have told him, but I didn't want him to tell me that this would never work out because of the distance, so I assured him that Mikey and I were nothing more than friends. He believed me, which was logical because judging one every boy I had a crush on before, Michael wasn't my type.

But he was my type – the others weren't.

And Michael was also more than just a crush, I knew that for sure.

Michael sat right in front of me and at some point, when he looked up, we locked eyes for a brief moment. He looked away quickly and I sighed.

I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to explain it to him.

But it's not like there was anything to explain.

-

"What the heck, Ley?!"

"I don't know, Ash, I really don't."

I laid down on Ashton's bed and buried my head in his pillow. Ashton was walking up and down in his room.

"Why- Why did you- How- What?!"

"I know, I know. I'm confused as well."

Ashton finally sat down next to me and laid his hand on my thigh. "You messed up."

I instantly sat up straight again and looked at him in disbelief. "Thanks, Sherlock, I had no idea."

"Talk to him."

"But what should I say?"

"I don't know, just kiss him or something" he suggested shrugging. "I can't believe you."

"I can't believe myself either."

"Why were you even scared?"

"I don't know. I guess because I don't want to risk our friendship, or because of the distance or something."

"You told me you won't shut him off just because you are scared."

"I know."

"You are unbelievable, Ley."

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