Give Me Courage (BWWM)

CH. 44 I trust him

CH. 44 I trust him

(Olivia POV)

When you care for someone, love someone and want them in your life. You're always scared about what they will think about certain situations from your past.

Of course, you don't want them to see you differently after you've told them something that has been troubling you.

I mean, I knew what I did. The only thing I regretted was being separated from Tucker.

I didn't even know where he went, I was a kid who was kept in the dark and I hated how they treated kids in the system.

They don't even care sometimes when they separate you from your brothers or sisters. They just do and being someone who has actually gone through that it hurts.

I still didn't know how Tucker grew up but I wanted to know, I wanted to actually sit down and talk to him more.

To let him know exactly why I did what I did.

I looked at Jake and smiled, truly when someone comes into your life they really do change things around.

I was enjoying it, of course, having Jake turn things around in my life was a good thing.

"You know about my mom bringing her work home, I don't know somehow she found out if she brought her work home she could get more income out of it. I couldn't let Tucker go through what I went through. I saw it in her eyes, she was planning it. I always knew when my Mother started to come up with devious plans." I said letting out a sigh, recalling some memories.

"It was like I was already used to those devious looks she would get, it was like a cat who finally caught their prey. My mother would do anything for drugs and money. Hell, She did anything for drugs and money. You know my mother even consider what she did to me, was her way of getting me to help her out. Like I was just a child but she didn't see it that way, she probably assumed that I would get used too it" I said letting out a humorless laugh.

"I use to try to understand, that certain people don't have it like others. Your parents do what they got to do to provide for you, but in no way should they try to bring you in things that are like that." I said getting up to sit in a sitting position instead of laying down.

I can feel Jakes eyes staring at me.

"I don't know how exactly she met Dr. Nila, but I was happy. I thought maybe we would get a normal life, she was becoming clean. Dr.Nila was actually helping her and for some reason, he fell in love with her. How can a man like that fall for a woman like that? I had no idea, but it happened. When my mom became pregnant with Tucker, oh boy. I was thrilled because she would stay with Dr. Nila you know, become a happy mother and wife, but of course, that didn't happen. I thought she was so selfish you know, like okay you got yourself back into it. Why drag your kids with you? You see how happy your kids are with the life they had, why would you bring your own kids with you to your toxic life. She thought because she gave us life she could control us, own us. I don't know if that was the drugs taking over her head or was it just her true colors." I said shaking my head at the memories of my mother.

"I still have nightmares about her. I'm sure you've noticed it when I've had them around you. I still feel like she's hunting me somehow." I said.

Jake spoke, asking me a question that had shivers run through my body of course.

"What happened to her?" He asked me, I looked at him.

He told me about his past, he told me How he saw what happened to his parents on the day of his birthday and they were planning his birthday party.