KryozGaming x Reader

I Am Incapable Of Feeling

"I am incapable of feeling, but I can simulate what I have learned about human emotions" was a line that was branded into my mind. Ever since John created me, he has tried to show me affection, but I cannot return it. He would look at me and tell me he loved me so, but I only reply with "I am incapable of feeling, but I can simulate what I have learned about human emotions." while staring blankly into his eyes. I have noticed when I reply to him, his eyes dull, and he must leave to cry.

I do not understand why I have been created. I just know that seeing me brightens up his expression. He hugs me, yet I cannot understand it. I try my best to hug back, but before I can understand it, he always seems to run off. I do not know why, but I feel something, something I have never felt before. I do not like it, I want it to end. I power off, hoping that it will be over soon.

The next morning, John comes in and powers me up. He had a stale look on his face, and I cannot read how he is feeling. "(Y/N), good morning." he said to me, his tone dull. "What is wrong, John? You are not happy this morning." I said. He sighed, shaking his head. "It's nothing, (Y/N), I'm going grocery shopping today. I won't be home until later." he informed me. I cocked an eyebrow, copying a facial expression he has displayed many times. He laughed, and I smiled. "Well, you're learning. That's good." he said, a smile on his face. I felt something else, but it felt better than last night. I decided I would tell John about it later tonight, when he returned. He kissed my forehead, like he always does when he leaves, and takes off. He normally takes me with him, I do not know why he did not this time.

I wandered his home, something I do to pass the time when he is gone. I have never walked into his room before, but something inside of me was telling me to. I stepped to the door hesitantly, standing infront of the room. He always tells me I could come in, but I do not. Now, I do not know what is compelling me, but I am going to go inside that room. I opened the door, stepping in. It was dark, so I turned the light on. His room was plain, with a bed and a computer. There was a table beside his bed, with a picture frame on it. It was him, and some human girl who resembled me. I walked over and picked it up, analyzing the photo. John seemed to be happy in this picture, the girl kissing him on the cheek. I analyzed the photo, feeling the same, bad feeling from last night. I felt warmth on my cheeks, and pools of water collecting on the photo. Tears. I was crying, but I did not know why. I was not capable of crying, so why am I now? I never noticed John in the room, until he cleared his throat. I turned to look at him, my cheeks still wet.

"John, who is this human who looks like me?" I inquired, showing him the photo. He paused for a moment, and I could see his eyes begin to water as mine had. He stepped closer to me, grabbing the photo from my hand. "Well, it's you. But, it's not." he said, sitting on his bed. I sat beside him, crossing my hands in my lap. "I do apologize John, but I cannot comprehend what you have told me." I said, looking at him. He took a deep breath, exhaling shakily. "When I was younger, I used to date this girl, named (Y/N). She was the only person who made me happy. I loved everything about her, her smile, her softness. And one day, she got really sick." he paused. He began to cry, and I wanted to comfort him, but I could not. He stayed silent for a moment, clearing his throat. "One day, she got really sick. She always had a smile on her face, though, even when she lost her hair and stayed infront of the toilet. She suffered, but she would always tell me just how much she loved me, and she couldn't wait until she got better so we could do stuff like we used to. And then, one day I went to sleep with her, and I woke up, and she was dead. She looked like an angel, with a smile on her face. I couldn't bare to be by myself without her, so after her funeral, I made you. You look just like her, but I could never program you to have her feelings." he finished, rubbing his thumb over the girl in the picture. I decided to tell him about the feelings I have been having, hoping that I was developing emotions.

"John, last night I have been feeling a little out of sorts with myself. Last night, you hugged me and before I could reciprocate, you had run off. I felt something, I did not like. It felt like pain, but not to my exterior. It was to my interior. I powered off and hoped it would diminish the problem. It seemed to work, until you kissed my forehead. I was never capable of feeling emotions before, but my interior wasn't hurt anymore, it felt... Happy? It felt good, I liked it. And then, looking at the photo, I began to cry, as I've seen you do before. I felt the hurt again, and while you were telling me the story about where I've come from, I felt like I wanted to hug you." I paused a moment, looking at my creator. "John, I think I'm in love with you. I've been incapable of emotions since I was made, but I've been learning, and I think I love you." I told him. He looked at me in shock, his mouth hanging open. "(Y/N), you didn't speak formal in that sentence." he said. I looked at him. Playing back the speech out loud, I realized I combined words. Before I could speak, he pulled me into him. I reciprocated without thought, squeezing his body to mine. His body trembled lightly with sobs, and I tried desperately to pull him closer. I wanted to comfort him, to make him feel better. He looked at me, his eyes red and puffy. I looked into his eyes, cocking my eyebrow as I had done this morning. He laughed again, pressing his lips against mine. I did not understand, but I tried to imitate. He pulled away after a minute. "I need to find something better than rubber to cober your skin in." he said, a smile on his face. "John, you cannot replace my skin with most substances, as rubber is the only one that can cushion my wires and metal so as not to hurt you." I said, my formal speech coming back. He pressed his forehead against mine, muttering her loved me.

Before I could tell him I was incapable of human emotions, something in my mind stopped me. I could indeed feel human emotion, and I was going to start using them. "I love you as well, John." I replied, pecking his cheek. I could never replace the girl who I had been modeled after, but I could offer my own love to him.

(A/N: And this is what I call word vomit, which is just me trying to take a dream I've had and turn it into a story. I don't know why this came to mind, but I think I'm proud of this, so feel free to criticize me. Thank you all ♡♡)