Unsaid

chapter forty eight

The day I had been dreading had arrived. I forced the royal blue dress over my head, the one my mother had picked out a few weeks ago, it was tight around the bust and then flowed from my waist down to just above my knees, despite the fact my mother had been the one to pick it, it wasn’t actually that horrible, it was a sort of skater style.

I wasn’t sure if I was actually still expected to go today, it was another one of the country clubs organisations that my parents had been invited to. I had still had no communication whatsoever with my mother, it’s not that I didn’t care anymore, I’d just got used to it, she was mad, and like my brother, I hoped she’d get over it.

Nonetheless I still sat in my bedroom, Saturday morning applying my eyeliner as the rest of the house got ready for the day ahead, a day of acting like someone we’re not.

There’s one thing I dreaded more than anything about today, the possibility, frankly, the certainty that Ben would be there today, and so would Niall, it was like a face off.

“Sophie, we’re leaving.” Matthew popped his head around my door as I pulled my hair around to frame my face.

“Am I still aloud to come?” I laughed lightly as Matthew snorted.

“Just come on.” He scoffed leaving my bedroom. I picked my bag up off the bed and hurried downstairs where my father was waiting by the door.

“Matt and mums in the car.” He smiled as he placed his hand on my back, leading me out the front door and in to the car.

I didn’t want to go. I was scared, I didn’t want to have to face Ben, I felt awful about what I had done to him, I didn’t want to show up, and make eyes at Niall, while Ben was there on his own. The thought terrified me, and yet here I was, trapped in a car with my parents and brother, while I stared out the window at the passing cars wishing I was anywhere but here.

But then I saw the dreaded sign again, taking pride and place over the drive way up towards the country club.

“Gatton Manor- Dorking Country Club”

I don’t know how a sign could make people, like me, feel so inferior and small, as if they were in a world they didn’t belong in.

Sitting on this table alone, I felt so out of my league, I admit, I was desperately looking around for Niall, or anyone, even Ben, but I could find nobody, so here I was, on a table, surrounded by adults who thought I was like them.

I couldn’t even find the words to describe how I was feeling, I had hit a low, all my life, I knew where I belonged, I knew what I was going to do, but then Niall came, and since then, nothing has been the same, I don’t know how many times im going to say that im not the same person, that I’ve changed. But I have, im not the same person I was two months ago. I didn’t belong in this crowd of people, with primped hair and perfect dresses, with vast amounts of money and wealth. I belonged to Niall, I loved Niall.

“So, are we allowed to know each other in public?” I turned around to see Niall behind me, once again winning the fight for clothes against his mother as he wore his normal attire. I felt the smile fall on to my face as I saw him, relief that I was no longer alone.

“I don’t even care.” I laughed, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside, out from the grounds and the trees, the people and the music, and in to the lobby. Nobody was in here, just people passing, I pulled him over to one of the couches as we sat down.

“So you’re plan is to sit on these low couches all night?” Niall shifted in the seat uncomfortably as I stifled a laugh, they were really, obnoxious couches, leather cream that sunk two inches from the floor when you sat on them, I doubt they were even meant to be sat on; more for decoration.