hope | t.h.

t h i r t e e n

Tom and I were back in room 35, alone. The rest were called for other things but ironically, Tom wasn't and I wasn't. Something about him made me feel different today but I hated feeling like this.

He smiled at me before saying something. "You must be giving a lot of thought into whatever it is that you're thinking of."

I hadn't noticed that my brows were furrowed and my face was all stiffened up. I soften up my face, embarrassed like hell. I didn't have a response at all.

He took a breath. "Last night was fun. Especially since you were there to complete it. There was always something missing in the hang outs."

My face grew a shocked look. One that you could see from the moon. "Glad to be there." I said too fast.

He didn't even think anything of it. He carried on normally. "Do you wanna be invited regularly or..."

"N-no." I blurted out. His facial expression changed fast, taken aback. "I-i mean y-yes." I swallowed a lump that formed in my throat and giggled at myself. I took a deep breath to give a final answer. "I'd love to."

He laughed along with me. "Great. Um... So... Uh what other projects have you done? As in movies."

"That's such an out of the blue question. There are too many movies, Thomas. I can't just say it on the spot."

He cringed at me using his full first name and nodded slightly. "Right, but what was your favourite one?"

I didn't even think about it. "All of them. There's always something good about each of the experiences and projects."

The room went silent. The small talk had to wear off somewhere. We both went back to looking at our phones... Or so he thought. Instead, I watched the light in his eyes, the white light from his phone. I tried to hide myself looking at him by pretending to be on my phone. It seemed to be working for now. I just had this need to look at him that I couldn't focus on the quality memes on my explore page. Something changed about him after yesterday. We barely even interacted much either, but there's something, and I'm going to kick myself when I find out. His fluffy hair was styled perfectly and his plain white shirt complimented his look. The blue jeans tied it together and the waistband to his Calvin's were peaking out a bit. It was still hard to decipher that the waistband of his boxers were showing if you didn't scan him delicately.

Before I could react faster than how I did, he lifted his head up. I quickly looked at the black screen on my phone and pretended he was imagining it. My screen lightened up my eyes after placing my thumb on the home button, unlocking it without a single sound. Obviously, he saw me though, shook his head, smiled, and looked back at his phone.

My face heated up and the whole room felt like it was 30°C / 86°F. It felt hotter than the weather outside since it is London after all. It felt like I couldn't breathe because of how embarrassed I was. I tried concealing my humiliation as best as I could but I failed to.

I dreaded him lifting his head up once more, yet he did it anyway. "Are you alright?" A curl hung down onto his face bounced. He looked absolutely done with me.

"Hm? Yeah. It's fine. I'm fine." My voice went high pitched.

He knew something was up. "Okay, love. Do you need water or anything?"

I took it as an excuse to leave. "Maybe. I'll go get some, you don't have to. Thanks." I rushed through my words, probably making a few mistakes by stumbling on them. I walked closer and closer to the door whilst talking. He just watched me as if I was an absolute nuisance.

My pace became faster and faster as I went through the corridor. I focused on my steps. Left, right, left, right. My arms barely moving back and forth like they should be. They were stiff at my sides but gently moved every now and then. It felt like a crowd was staring at me, like I was doing a presentation in front of 40 people. My eyes were focused on my feet and I couldn't help but stare at the floor too.