Owen

I'm Okay

The days just passed.

I kept waking up to see a new date scrawled across the dry erase board that hung directly across from my hospital bed. A new nurse's name written there, the stupid row of smiley faces to dictate my mood, my pain, I didn't know.

I didn't even know how many days had passed. I wasn't sure I cared.

Everyone was still calling and texting, Jase was making sure my phone stayed perfectly charged. I still didn't want to see anyone.

I'd started some simple physical therapy, basic shit like trying to move my fingers and toes. Apparently it was a good sign that I had decent function in my left arm. I couldn't quite find the same enthusiasm everyone else had.

There was a knock on my door, the latch clicking as someone entered. So much for the peace and quiet. My eyes shifted to where whoever knocked would appear. One of the nurses had helped prop me up a little, giving me more of a view then just the plain white ceiling tiles.

My heart stopped as Jaelyn emerged. Tears exploded in her eyes as soon as they landed on me. Pity evident.

"Owen, baby." Her mouth turned down as her lips started to quiver. "I'm so sorry."

I shifted my eyes away, the neck brace still preventing me from moving much. It wasn't Jaelyn's fault I had been a drunken idiot. But it didn't change the fact that I was pissed, stuck in this stupid bed. Probably forever.

She stood awkwardly at the foot of my bed. Tears falling from her eyes, taking some of the black mascara she wore with them.

"I love you so much Owen." I watched her move closer to my side, she twisted her hands together uneasily. "Please."

The desperation in her voice was what got me. Even though the anger I felt overwhelmed me I couldn't block her out, not like everyone else.

"I'm sorry too." I finally said, sending Jaelyn into more tears as our eyes met.

"Am I...am I allowed to touch you?" She asked, reaching for me hesitantly.

I lifted my left arm, my fingers curled into my palm. Her hand found mine, her fingers forcing their way between mine. Her skin felt warm, familiar. Like maybe the life I had wasn't completely over as long as she was there.

"Jae." I choked out, the lump catching in my chest making it impossible to speak.

"I know baby." She kissed my hand, pressing the back of my hand into her cheek.

But that was the worst part about it all, she didn't. No one did. The doctors just kept saying only time would tell. No one could guess if and what I'd regain. When I would regain it. It was a fucking crap shoot.

                               ————————

"What's going to happen?" Jaelyn asked me.

She hadn't left, it'd been hours. I was exhausted and my body just wanted to sleep. But I didn't want to miss any of her. I didn't want her to let go of my hand, not yet. I could almost pretend that everything was normal, minus the collar that kept my head uncomfortably immobile and only my left arm doing what I wanted it to, sort of.

"I don't know." I admitted, I'm sure my dad and Jase were coming up with some plan. All I knew was after I got released from the hospital I had a ton of therapy. "I'm stuck here for a little longer because of the surgery."

"Does it hurt?"

Her brown eyes were wide and full of concern, her thumb tracing circles against my hand.