Owen

Tension

It was weird having my dad home. He didn't often come home early from work, always having someone lined up so I wasn't alone. Tonight apparently was the rare occasion everyone was busy. So there he sat in the kitchen, his laptop casting an electrical glow across his face in the dim light. We hadn't said much to each other, at least that hadn't changed. The TV droned on in the background, I couldn't even remember what I had been watching. I'd lost interest a while ago.

I looked down at my phone in my lap as it vibrated, the screen lighting up. I had texted Jaelyn over an hour ago, she finally responded.

Beautiful: sorry bae wish I could! Working on a project with Max.

Me: who's Max?

Beautiful: you know, he's in my writing class.

I was the worst with names.

Beautiful: I think he might have a crush on you

Me: oh that kid, well tell him I'm taken.

Beautiful: 😍 love you

Me: love you too

I had probably two interactions with Max before. I wasn't the best at realizing people were flirting with me unless they made it obvious. Which Max had. He was a decent enough kid. Not quite in our crowd but everyone seemed to know him and like him. Maybe it was because he was one of the few out gay kids in our school. But it was probably more of the fact that he'd talk to anyone.

I dropped my phone back into my lap, letting out a yawn. It was 8:30 my dad would probably let me go to bed without much fuss. I left the TV on and slowly rolled myself toward the kitchen.

"Hey dad." I said announcing my presence knowing he'd be so engrossed in his work he wouldn't have heard me.

"Hey, need something?" He asked, briefly glancing at me before back at his laptop.

"I think I'm going to go to bed." I told him.

He glanced at the clock on the wall. "Yeah okay. Let's go."

The stool scraped against the floor of the kitchen as he stood. He let out a sigh, running his hands through his mop of dark hair, the light reflecting off his wedding band.

"I can probably get it on my own." I told him.

I watched him glance back toward his opened laptop, like maybe he was going to let me so he could go back to work. But than he sighed and shook his head.

"It's alright. I wanted to talk to you anyway."

"About what?"

He came up behind me, grabbing ahold of my chair and together we started for my room. I couldn't think of anything we possibly had to talk about. I mean therapy was covered. When my dad's insurance stopped, Drew's parents stepped in. I wasn't entirely sure why they decided to offer to pay for my therapy but I wasn't complaining and they could afford it. As much as I hated it, I knew my only real option of maybe being slightly normal one day was through a shit ton of therapy. And therapy is fucking expensive. Maybe he was going to tell me he wanted to sell my truck. I had to admit, it was gonna feel like a swift kick to the gut, I loved that damn truck, but it wasn't like it was doing anything sitting in the driveway. And god only knew if I'd ever drive it again.

"Well you're cleared to go back to school."

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. I had not been expecting that. And there was no way in hell I was going back.

"Nah I'm good."

"You're starting at the beginning of the month."

"Fuck no."

"Why not?"

I was pissed. I wasn't going back to school. Not like this.

"Because look at me!" I yelled. "I'm fucking useless. How do you expect me to do a damn thing?"

"The therapists and the doctors all say it's time.  I'm sure you'll be fine." He sounded resigned.

"I'm not fucking going."

"Yes you are."

He pushed me into my room bringing my wheelchair to the side of my bed.

"No I'm not."

He blew out a breath, his face appearing in front of mine. He had bags under his eyes, a sign he worked way too much and slept way too little. New wrinkles I'd never noticed etched into the corners of his eyes and across his forehead. When had he gotten so old looking?

"Well if your as useless as you say you are I guess you can't stop me."

I opened my mouth to refute but I had nothing. I was just a pawn being shifted around through everyone's life. I had no purpose and no goals. How could I? I couldn't even take care of myself anymore. I dropped my eyes to my lap, wanting nothing more than to wake up the next morning and have it all be one long horrible nightmare.

My dad's hand appeared on my knee. I couldn't feel it, which only made my mood deflate farther.

"Just sleep on it." He told me.

I didn't need to sleep on it. How could I go back to school? How was going to fit back in? How was I going to navigate school life? Would people stare? What would people say? Kids are fucking mean, I knew that, shit I had probably been one of them. But being popular wouldn't help me now.

————————

I was in the living room, as usual, Nan off doing something in the house, probably cleaning. I had to hand it to her, the house had never been so clean. A knock came from the front door, so soft, I never would have heard it had the TV been on. I glanced around, wondering if Nan would appear with the weird sixth sense shit that grandma's have but after a couple seconds I realized it was up to me. I blew out a breath, unlocking my wheels, and slowly made my way toward the door. I didn't have much practice with opening a door inward so I unlocked it, rolled myself back and yelled "Come in!"

It was very possible I could have let a serial killer in the house right then but how the hell was I supposed to see? We needed like a second peephole, down low for the cripples of the world.

The door shoved open, Drew stepping in. I glanced at my phone and back at him. I hadn't seen Drew for weeks. We hadn't even talked via text.

"Aren't you supposed to be at school?" I blurted out in way of greeting.

He shifted on his feet nervously, looking anywhere but at me. "Uh, yeah, I uh skipped."

"So what do I owe for this surprise?"

I couldn't hide my anger. I also didn't care. Drew was supposed to be my best friend. He was supposed to be there, through thick and thin. And when shit got thick he had bailed.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing."

He glanced at me for a brief moment. His eyes flicking away quickly. He looked uncomfortable, more uncomfortable than he had been the last few times I had seen him. Something was going on. I just didn't know what.

"Well clearly I'm fucking fantastic." I said sarcastically.

He nodded his head, "Right."

I watched him look around my house like he'd never been in it. Was he thinking back to the countless hours we had spent within these walls, playing video games, flirting with girls, drinking. It's funny how one event can change so much. Before my accident, Drew would have walked in like he lived here. Now he felt like a stranger standing in the foyer.

"Listen Owen..." he started, his eyes finally staying on me for longer than a minute.

But he still looked like a friend. A little more serious than I was used to seeing but still Drew. And I wondered if maybe this was the moment we'd both cut the tension that had grown between us.

He sighed, his eyes shifting down to his feet. "I...I gotta go."

I wasn't stupid enough to believe that was what I was supposed to listen too. Whatever tension that was between us just found a new layer. He was definitely hiding something.

I just didn't know what.