Owen

Brownies & Apps

I spent the morning of Max's bbq researching colleges. Stuck at the dining room table, Jase in the living room staring at the TV in a trance. I hadn't moved in hours which was a piss poor idea on my part but I was determined to make a plan.

"Hey Jase!" I called, I'd been trying to ignore the burning pain for as long as possible but it was starting to demand my attention. "Do we still have some of those brownies Nan made?"

He looked over at me, eyes tired and bloodshot from staring at the TV for the past several hours. I wondered if that was what I had looked like over the past several months. Broken and lost and defeated.

"Yeah, I think so." He shoved himself off the couch and wandered into the kitchen. "What have you been working on anyway?"

"College stuff." I told him.

He opened up a cabinet, pulling out a plate of perfectly cut brownies covered in plastic wrap with a sticky note on them that said "Owen's brownies". When I had asked Nan why she felt the need to label them she said it was so my dad didn't get into them thinking they were normal brownies and get to work crazy high. I thought maybe he should give it a try. Maybe getting high would make him less stressed.

"College?" Jase asked, bringing me the entire plate.

He pulled a chair out, letting the bottom of it scrap against the floor before he sat down.

"Yeah, I still want to go. I just need to figure out where and the most affordable way to do it." I explained, taking a brownie off the plate.

I'd woken up in the middle night with pain and it hadn't really gone away regardless of what I did. So I was left with just trying to take the edge off.

"Where are you looking?" He asked, leaning over to look at my computer screen.

I shrugged. "Mostly community colleges in the area. I was thinking it'd be cheaper to do my pre-reqs there and then I can finish up the degree at a university or something."

My dad had put Jase through college and I knew he'd do the same for me but I also knew I'd been a pretty expensive kid the past almost year. Plus I wasn't sure I was up for university life. Living in dorms or trying to find a place to rent. And then there was the parties and I wasn't sure I was down for them anymore. My last party hadn't been a success and I had no desire to break something else.  So a university wasn't really even that appealing to me now.

"Will had said I should look into colleges that have adaptive sports but I think I'm pretty happy at Crip. I don't need to play for a college."

I'd thought about it while I was up during the night unable to sleep. Everything I thought I wanted pre injury wasn't really that important. The only thing that remained the same was what I wanted to go to school for; software engineering.

Jase grabbed a brownie, taking a bite. I stared at him, eyebrows raised. I knew Jase used to smoke in high school and college but once he graduated he stopped. Most places he had been applying at drugged tested and I was pretty sure he had said his currently employer did too. Even though marijuana was legal, he could still get in trouble with his job.

"Seems like a good plan." He said, sucking chocolate off his fingers.

"What're you doing?" I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders, grabbing another one. He was about to find himself pretty high and he was supposed to be my ride.

"Trying to get over my broken heart." He muttered, sulking out of the kitchen.

"Maybe you need to go pick up a girl and get laid." I called to him just as he sunk into the couch.

He scoffed. "All the good girls are taken already."

"Then go get yours back." I suggested.

I was still a little sore to the idea that Brandy was gone. And I was definitely blaming Jase for it.

He didn't say anything back and I shifted my focus back on my open laptop.

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"Are you sure you still want to go?" Jase asked me.

I was trying to shift myself into my chair but my body wasn't having any part of it. Every time I went to move, my legs started to spasm. My medication and the weed still wasn't doing much to improve my pain but I was trying to just muscle through it. I had promised Max I'd come and besides that Mina was supposed to be there.

She still hadn't talked to me, except for the one day at therapy but even then she had said as little as possible. The more time that passed, the more unnerved I felt about her not talking to me. I wasn't gonna let her ice me out.

"Yeah I'm fine." I ground out, pressing down on my legs until they stopped flailing.

"You don't seem fine." He commented, pulling me to the edge of the bed.

Normally I would have yelled at him but I was tired of fighting myself.

"You're one to talk." I snapped before I let out a sigh. I wasn't purposely trying to be a dick at the moment. "Sorry."

"You want help?" Jase asked, ignoring me.

I nodded my head, reaching for my chair as he bent down to tuck his arms underneath mine.

"Count of three." He mumbled out of habit rather than necessity.

On three I lifted, letting Jase guide my body over. I sat with a thunk, releasing a breath that I hadn't meant to hold. Jase picked up my right foot and put it on the stand. I was starting to get enough strength and control in my left that I could almost lift it myself.

When I was finally situated, I closed my eyes, letting out a sigh. This was going to suck. I could feel it already. But I couldn't back out on Max. And I needed to see Mina.

"Ready?" Jase asked.

I wasn't ready. I wanted to stay home and be miserable so I didn't have to pretend like I wasn't. But I'd made a decision, I wasn't going to let this hold me back. I wasn't going to let pain stop me.

"Ready."

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So incase you didn't see I uploaded a new story! It's going to update once a week, I'll try for Monday's. It's called Letters from Floyd and for those who haven't heard me talk about it before it's all the letters my grandpa wrote to my grandpa (before they got married) while he was enlisted in the army during World War ll. I'm adding some research and things plus photographs that my grandpa took while he was in the states. I'm really excited about it but I will warn my grandpa was not one of those romantic poets. He wrote as if she was in the room and he was telling her about his day. But anyway, I hope you check them out.